WMC/WMM Administration Plan to Move Prom with No Community Input

For West Morris Mendham and West Morris Central parents who did not look closely at a prom email that arrived June 1, the notice did not pertain to the prom that occurred on May 31. It was an order about next year’s prom, announcing that both proms would be held on Tuesday, June 9, 2020, the same week as both graduation and Project Graduation. In an attempt to undermine post-prom travel to the shore, the notice went on to say that seniors who did not show up to school the following two days would not be able to walk in graduation. The letter described how this would save money for students and move it away from SAT and IB testing and provided no details about how the decision was made and whose opinions were sought.

How does this move hurt the WMM and WMC community of parents and students? With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, let me count the ways.

1. They are scheduling prom, graduation and Project Graduation all in the same week, and insisting that students come into school the day after a long prom night. When would they like students to sleep? Could they schedule more major events in one week? Throw in the fact that most of them will probably now go to the shore the weekend before the Tuesday prom and you have the perfect storm. Graduation week should be joyful and relaxed and anything but this.

2. No attempt was made to suggest either a less expensive or closer venue, or to choose ANY date in May or June that does not involve graduation week. This strongly suggests that the main reason to choose this date is to sabotage the longstanding trip to the Jersey Shore. It is unfortunate that the schools are now choosing to act in loco parentis for a decision that belongs solely to parents. There is more to life than IB classes. Young people should be free to celebrate their milestones in the way that they and their families choose. Restriction of freedom tends only to weaken and infantilize those you are holding back from opportunities for growth and joy.

3. It is unclear if the Administration discussed this with board members. They only sought the token polling of a few students two days before prom this year. Those students overwhelming said they did not want a Tuesday prom, and yet the Administration went ahead with it anyway. This is perhaps the most disturbing issue. What does this teach our young people? That their opinion about a major event in their own lives is meaningless? And that only a select few should even be asked, zero input from the student body as a whole or parents?

4. They are scheduling both proms on the same night. Many students from these schools invite each other to prom. This really discourages outside friendships.

5. It is much harder for parents to take off work mid- week, rather than a Friday. Pictures usually take place around four. Some working parents flew in for this year’s prom, and the Administration is now asking them to fly in mid-week. That is a much more difficult conversation for those who travel for work.

5. The administration’s argument about testing is not accurate and would NOT be affected by a prom on Thursday 28 or Friday 29.

MAY/JUNE 2020 EXAM SCHEDULE:
SAT - May 2 & June 6
ACT - June 13
AP - May 4-8 & 11-15
IB - May 1, 4-8, 11-15, 18-19

And in regard to sports, is anyone really complaining? And why would a sports activity be chosen over prom, which affects far more students?

Many in these communities are disappointed by this ill-conceived fiat. I rarely weigh in on any decision at the school level because I know the tremendously difficult job of the teachers and administrators, especially in today’s stressful climate, and I have profound respect for the work they do to educate our children. However, everything about this decision feels rushed, lacking reflection, and absent input.

It is a sad commentary when students and parents do not have a voice. I recall a phone call with a former administrator about a small matter a few years ago. He picked up the phone, spoke full throttle for two minutes, asked for no input, and then tried to hang up. I stopped him, laughed, and said, “Do I get to speak now?” He actually seemed surprised, and then graciously said, “Oh, of course. Speak.” It should come as no surprise that the best way to make a decision is to gain consensus and listen, really listen, to many voices. If you want to teach students something of value that will benefit them in the world, model that instead of moving prom.

I remember my own prom. It was filled with love and stardust and a hoop skirt that was as bad a decision as this prom change. Even now, the memories of that prom and the weekend after are far more cherished than any SAT test that I took. Being able to have freedom, and to use that freedom wisely, resulted in tremendous personal growth.

I worry for an Administration that only values academics at the expense of joy. My father, a respected journalist and college educator, told me that during his graduate study in Boston, there were often reports of students jumping off buildings at MIT. This amazed me, that the cream of the academic crop would consider their lives not worth living. He wasn't surprised, and replied, “Life is not only about grades.” My parents allowed me to fully enjoy life outside the classroom, and it made me a happier, better adjusted, more successful person. It is unfortunate that the school Administration has removed the ability to parent.

Concerned parents and students should attend the Monday, June 24 board meeting at 7 PM at West Morris MENDHAM. I am still hopeful that the communities can be heard.