Fall Daze: The Importance of Finding Times for the One You Love

Labor Day, arriving early this year, propelled us into an instant “crazy busy.”

With the rigors of school with supplies to buy, homework to complete, schedules to adjust to, parents” back to school night to attend, compete with increased career demands with fall deadlines can leave many of us completely exhausted.

The dizzying and overwhelming demands of the typical family beg the questions, “Where’s my time? Where’s the time for us?”

As a couples’ therapist, I know how critical it is to nurture a relationship. Intimacy doesn’t wait until you have time.

What’s a couple to do?

Here are some tips to help you get started:

1 - Set the intention together to carve out some time for connecting. Hours and days slip away if you don’t pay attention.

2 - Take a few minutes Sunday evening to touch base on the week ahead. Is there time for a phone call during the day, a half hour after the children are in bed, or perhaps a dinner at a favorite restaurant?

3 - Practice appreciation to your spouse. Express gratitude that your partner works hard for the family outside the home and nurturing and attending to the children’s needs.

4 - Be accountable for the relationship. Every month evaluate how the relationship is faring Are your needs being met? Have you spent enough quality time together? Have you had fun together as a couple this month? Do your schedules need to be tweaked?

5 - Have this conversation where you won’t be interrupted by children or tempted to glance at your e-mail. Talk without blame or judgment. You are trying to solve a problem together not start a fight.

If you need some help with setting priorities or communication skills, get professional help. Brief Solutions Oriented Couples’ Therapy can get you back on track.

Yes, you can make time. Your relationship is worth it.

About Madeline Muise, LCSW, Director Mediation and Therapy Associates, LLC:

Mediation and Therapy Associates specializes in helping you create a fulfilling life. We help you identify goals and develop skills to establish rewarding relationships with partners/spouses, your children, extended family and community.

Personally, I received my Bachelor’s degree from the College of St. Rose and a Master’s in Social Work from Rutgers’ the State University.

In addition, I also have postgraduate training in the following areas:

Family Systems Therapy
Divorce Mediation, Winston Salem, North Carolina
Advanced Mediation Training, Montclair, New Jersey and Florida
Parent Coordination Training with Robin Deutch, PhD.
Collaborative Law Training

I am married, have adult children and grandchildren. My hobbies include travel, sailing and the arts.

For more information, please go to my website at:http://www.mediationandtherapyassociates.com or call (732) 530-2951