Little League Daze

Several years back, my son played Little League. For a few of those years, I was a coach. It’s too bad I didn’t have a blog then because if there were ever a spot that would have provided great inspiration for my type of humor, it would have been on the fields at Gero Park.

One such moment occurred on the bleachers during a game when my son was probably 10 or 11. I sat listening to the parents of our young ballplayers discuss the future exploits of their soon-to-be-superstar sons (remember this gender for later in the story). “My son is going to baseball camp in Florida,” “My son is going to be a star on the Millburn High School team,” “My son is going to get a college scholarship to play baseball.”  “Holy crap,” I was thinking to myself and if you think I’m kidding, I’m not. One parent went so far as to proclaim that she thought her son was talented enough to play in the major leagues (and I’m laughing out loud as I write this recalling that moment).

I jumped off the bleachers, turned to my fellow parents and proclaimed, “You folks are delusional. I have lived in town for over 10 years and in all that time, I can name only one Millburn grad who has gone on to play Division 1 college baseball. Anybody care to tell me who that is?” I knew the answer but no one else seemed to.

There was silence, so I continued. “Take a look at the field behind me. See all those kids? If you are lucky, there’s one or two that will make the high school team and none of them will play Division 1, let alone in the pros.” I returned to my seat on the bleachers confident that I had made my point (and pissed off a few people in the process, which is never a bad thing under these conditions).

 With my son and his friends now in college and their baseball careers firmly in the rear view mirror, I can tell you that I was clairvoyant and that I was 100 percent correct in my assessment of the situation at that time, well…not quite 100 percent correct. Although she (and here comes the gender issue I mentioned before) was not on the field that day, one player did manage to make it to the Division 1 level from our town’s little league system from those years when my son and his friends roamed the fields of Gero Park.

Last weekend, ESPN was showing the NCAA women’s softball tournament and we got to watch a former Millburn little league star play on national television. I’m sure many of you know that I’m talking about Alexa Maldonado, who now plays centerfield and bats lead-off for the Notre Dame softball team. Please don’t give me any flak over the fact that it’s softball and not baseball. Really...who cares? Watching one of Millburn’s own on ESPN was something my family and I never thought we’d see, and I’m just happy to say that I did get to see Alexa way back in her Little League days.

So, for all of you current Millburn Little League parents, remember what you have learned today, harsh though that lesson may be. The odds are your child will not play competitive baseball in high school, they will not get a scholarship to play baseball in college and they will not get drafted by a major league baseball team. For any parent out there with their sanity intact, feel free to quote me often and if your fellow parents start to really annoy you, just contact me. I’d be happy to put in a personal appearance at Gero Park to bring the current crop of Little League parents back to their senses….if they had any to begin with.