A Busy Mom Raises Twins and Runs Asana House

SHE’S ALL THAT: Deb Williams

Meet Deb Williams, who has been a single mom to three active boys, co-founded and runs Asana House, practices yoga, and oh—did we mention she also has another, fulltime ‘day’ job?  Read on to get some solid advice on boys, business, yoga, and keeping it all balanced.

IN HER WORDS. . .

TYPICAL MORNING: The alarm goes off at 4:30. I’m at the studio at 5:30. Then I do a quick change, go to work, work all day, then back to the studio, dinner, etc.

MOVED TO MONTCLAIR: 20 years ago, pregnant with the twins. 

KIDS: 3 boys: 20-year old twins and a 16-year-old. I had a true, life-changing event when my husband and I split after 15 years of marriage; he left, and I became a single parent. Now I have one son at Kean University, one at Montclair State, and one in 10th grade at the High School. All three boys went to Nishuane, Hillside, Glenfield, and Montclair High. I love the schools here. 

ACTIVITIES: My sixteen year old is a good student, plays lacrosse, soccer, and has been a swimmer. I’ve always wanted the kids to take a chance and try new things. I learned a lot after the twins; I don’t push as much.   

THOUGHTS ON TWINS: They were very competitive; I tried to make them less competitive—you wear red and you wear blue, you play football, you swim. You just can’t control everything. You have to let it play out. They’re great friends now and live together and support each other. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t the way I envisioned the way things would be. 

BEST DECADE: My forties. When I turned 40, I had to make a shift or I knew wasn’t going to make it. I had to take care of my mental health. I was physically fit, but had no mind/body/spirit connection. There was a Power Yoga class starting on my birthday at my gym. I took that class religiously for years until I found the practice I do today. I’ll be 50 this year and the last decade has been wonderful. I feel good about coming up to 50.  Whatever happens, happens. I try to have a good, positive outlook and do the best I can.

PETS: I’m not an animal lover, but one of my twins has a little dog that I just love. It’s a pit bull, and it’s so friendly and lovely. 

WORK: We’re going on 3 years at Asana House (www.asanahouse.com) juice bar and yoga center. Ashtanga yoga is what we know and love so we try to bring it to the community (www.ashtangayogamontclair.com). I once thought I’d do a yoga studio and have all types of yoga, but I want to do what I know. We have yoga in the morning, then juice, smoothies and everything, then more classes at night. I’ve been so inspired by the people I work with; watching them grow and evolve wherever they want to be: spiritual growth, mental clarity, physical fitness, whatever it is.

My life is complicated as I also have a day job. I’m VP of purchasing for IDL Techni Edge (www.techniedge.com), manufacturer of industrial blades. It was a family business, founded by my father, but just about the time I opened Asana House, we sold it. I still work for the company, in Kenilworth, five days a week. After going to the studio in the morning, I do a quick change and make it to work by around 9:30. I’m also at the studio on Saturday, and we do a morning program on Sundays.   

GIVING BACK: My passion is to help people get where they want to be.  I would like to teach people in recovery, or to students or athletes. I was able to get the boys’ lacrosse team on the mat a couple of times. I’d love to get them in the studio and do more. 

The Newark Yoga Movement often calls on us to do volunteer work, which I’m always thrilled about, and at Asana House, we offer free meditation every 3rd Saturday of the month. No experience necessary—just willingness to learn and grow!  In June, we’ll have a weekend workshop with a certified Ashtanga Teacher, Kino MacGregor, and Rebecca Bergstrom at Yogadesha is opening up her studio to us to host this event at her space. 

I’ve also been a confirmation mentor at our church, and have been on several mission trips with church. 

EXERCISE ROUTINE: Five to six days a week I’m on the mat for an hour and forty-five minutes. I usually get up at 4:30, but if I’m teaching, I have to get up at 3:45. I love the practice that I do because it enables me to see where I’m at every day. There are parts that you get to and you’re like ohhhh can I do that today?! I was a runner and I used to lift weights, and when I turned 40, I wanted to find something I’d be able to do the rest of my life. You can yoga your whole life.

WHAT GIVES: Relationships with friends. I’m very close with people I see, but other relationships suffer.

WHAT YOU’RE READING: Shantaram, an amazing book about India, by Gregory David Roberts. I just read a book called Faith. I’m not Buddhist, but it’s all these Buddhist teachings about being present. And The Mirror of Yoga by Richard Freeman was excellent.

BIGGEST HELPER: My sixteen year old. He is self-reliant, and able to do the right thing. 

HOW YOU GET DINNER ON THE TABLE: The three of us have been doing these huge food shopping runs together on Sundays. If you want to eat, you have to come and pick it out. I have a few signature dishes like chicken, rice, & broccoli, or chicken, snow peas and coconut rice that I make in my Wolfgang Puck wok. We also do a lot of take out. 

FAVORITE RESTAURANT FOR DELIVERY: TS Ma, Enzo’s, Tinga, or I’ll pick up from Chipotle.

KIDS’ FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Raymond’s or Nori or Dai Kichi for their peanut sauce.

FAVORITE NIGHT OUT WITHOUT KIDS: Chuck and I work so hard that dinner and a movie is a big night out for us. We’ll usually go to Dai Kichi, or if we don’t want sushi, we’ll go to Mesob. We like good, organic, natural food. 

BIGGEST CHALLENGE: To slow down.

BEST TRIPS: Seeing the world with my family is a priority with me. My mother just took my sister and me to Bangkok, Singapore, Bali, and Hong Kong. My mom is 70 and my sister is 2 years younger than me. It’s hard with kids, a business, a partner, and so much pulling in every direction. It’s never a good time to go, but I go.  I also love to travel with my kids.  We ski together. It’s a way to spend time with them. It’s hard to get teenagers to spend time with their parents, but when we ski together, we just ski and eat and hang out. 

FAVORITE MTC STORE FOR YOU: I downsized my house, and I really try not to buy anything. I find new stuff in my own wardrobe.  But I do enjoy a good sale at Anthropologie once in a while. I also like Eastern Gifts on Park for a summer dress. For gifts like wedding presents, I love Jafajems.

WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT MONTCLAIR:It has everything I need and I never have to go to the mall. It’s also a great group of people. I love watching the kids grow here, seeing these little tykes evolve into men. I love watching the kids on the fields.

WHAT YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE: I know you can’t change the past, but there’s a lot I’d change if I could. I’d fully embrace the fact that every person has their own higher power. I wish that I could have fully embraced that, and let people make their path; I tried to control things too much. 

ADVICE FOR OTHER BUSY MOMS: It just doesn’t always come out the way you planned it.  A lot of mothers try to be the best mom they can be by making everything a certain way for their kids—but by controlling everything in these kids’ lives, they’re not being the best mom. At some point, kids have to take responsibility for their own lives and their own choices. Sometimes moms don’t let the coaches or the teachers do their jobs because they’re trying to control everything. 

Quiet your mind and see where you’re supposed to be. Live in the present, be in the moment, stay here now. Eat. Breathe. Do yoga.