N.J. Family Struggles With Mental Illness: ‘Help Save Our Home,’ Mom Pleads

Essex County, NJ – A New Jersey woman is making a Hail Mary attempt to save her family’s home after her husband’s struggle with mental illness allegedly left them $197,000 in debt to the mortgage company.

Angie Argabrite, a mother of four, described her heartbreaking struggle via an online fundraising campaign launched last week.

“My family has been devastated because of my husband’s major debilitating depression, and I don't want to be ashamed or silent anymore about the impact of mental illness,” the Bloomfield resident wrote.

“I just learned last week that my husband has been so unable to function because of his deep depression that he allowed our house to be foreclosed and repurchased by the mortgage company… all without my knowledge,” Argabrite said.

“This campaign is my Hail Mary pass to try to keep my family in our home,” she wrote.

A source close to the family, Maricela Rios, told Patch that the Argabrite-Wesphals are active members of the community; both parents are youth soccer coaches in their free time.

After Westphal was recently hospitalized due to his mental health struggles, his family was left teetering on the brink of losing the home that they love, Rios said.

Argabrite explained more about the situation via her online plea:

“I worry that losing our home will mean that my husband, currently hospitalized, will not be able to get past the self-loathing he expressed after he finally confessed that he had stopped making mortgage payments years ago—the shame that he felt for being so unable to function in our family has been paralyzing for him.

“Though I knew he wasn’t doing well, I had no idea that his illness was so serious and debilitating. I trusted him to handle the bills, but I know now I should’ve been paying more attention. Money has always been tight in our 23 years of marriage (partly because my husband has been unable to hold down a full-time job), so I realize now that he just couldn't muster the basic organizational efforts needed to manage it and creatively stretch the budget—it was too much to ask of him. But I didn’t know, and—one of the saddest things about major depression—my husband couldn’t tell me how much he was suffering and how badly he was managing, and the longer it went on the worse he felt

“I admit that, with my intense work schedule—from 40 to 60 hours per week—I was in denial that things were so bad. This campaign is also my effort to make things right to my family, whom I feel I have failed in so many ways.

“It breaks my heart that my kids will suffer so much because of their dad’s mental illness, and that my husband’s suffering will be multiplied because of the serious consequences of his losing battle to function in the world, his inability to ask for help and my failure to see that things had gotten so bad.”

Argabrite wrote that the family is trying to raise the money to pay back the mortgage company, a bill that currently stands at $197,000.

See the online campaign here.

• See related article: Mental Illness - The Numbers
• See related article: 6 Myths and Misconceptions Surrounding Mental Illness
• See related article: My Mother Was Sick, In A Living Hell. Until 9-11

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