Share A Bed With Your Dog, For Better or Worse

There’s nothing more relaxing to me after a full day outside in this cold-winter air walking dogs then coming home to warm snuggles with my pup. After putting up a good fight for the first few months and refusing to let her on the couch or on the bed with me, this winter has done me in and I’ve relaxed the rules long enough for at least cuddle or nap time. I have to say that my dog has proven to be an exceptionally good foot warmer and far more huggable than a Snuggie blanket but I still had my reservations about this new habit as I simply wasn’t so sure it was a good puppy parenting move on my part.

Many owners’ hesitance, mine included, to let their dogs crawl into bed with them stems from a fear that doing so will convey the unintentional message to the dog that they are somehow on equal terms with their humans. This, it is presumed, will thereby erode the humans’ leadership and ability to control canine behavior. Famous trainer and “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Milan constantly reiterates the importance of being the “pack leader” and of humans making the distinction between person and pup training their dogs accordingly. It is easy to understand owners’ concerns. 

Trainer Mandy Saunders recently addressed this common owners’ concern in the latest edition of Kiss Your Canine-zine. Saunders reassures anxious clients that, generally speaking, there is nothing wrong with allowing your dog to share your couch or bed! This and other professional trainers’ approval of dogs sleeping with owners in bed is not without its key caveats however as it’s critical that humans maintain their position at the top of the totem pole.  

First of all, humans must take the lead in allowing their dogs on the bed—by “inviting” them onto their bed as opposed to simply letting them “have the run of the bedroom.” By doing so, the dog is joining you on your terms, not on his own. It’s also important that, just as with allowing your dog on the couch, your dog heed your “off” command and respect your wishes when you’re not in the mood for company.

There are several grounds for dismissal from your bed too. Saunders emphasizes the importance of guarding against aggressive or dominant behaviors. If, for example, your pup “growls when your partner tries to roll over to get close to you, snaps when you try to take the pillow” away, or “urinates or defecates on your bed,” its time for an eviction.  Further, easily startled dogs or senile senior canines that wake up like a grizzly bear jolted from its winter hibernation should also be kept from your bed.  There’s nothing like waking up to find your dog clamped down on your hand because your sleeping movement inadvertently turned them into a snapping turtle. There are other considerations to keep in mind when deciding whether or not to allow your dog into your couch or bed including whether you’re averse to the presence of dog hair and the occasional muddy paw print; whether your dog has particularly foul breath and whether your dog has a flatulence problem. On a more serious note, make sure your dogs’ are clean and cootie free before you welcome them into your couch or comfort zone. Most importantly, you need to ensure that you and your dog can both get a good night’s rest.

For those of you undecided on whether or not to allow your dog onto your couch or onto your bed, there are plenty of very practical compromises. If you prefer to have your dog nearby at night, Saunders suggests placing your dog’s crate or kennel nearby and the same solution works for your couch as well. As for my dog and I, we’ve worked out an arrangement that suits both of us—she’s more than welcome to keep my feet warm while I’m in bed working on the computer or relaxing, but overnight time is crate time for her. The crate is close enough for her to be aware of my presence and get the reassurance she sometimes needs and I’m able to look forward to an uninterrupted night’s sleep and the ability to stretch my legs without an overgrown 65-pd pup with a snoring issue keeping me awake.

What do you think? Is your dog allowed to share your couch or bed space with you? Tell me in the comments!