It's Now More Difficult For Divorced Parents To Move From New Jersey With Their Kids

A new New Jersey court ruling could force divorced parents who want to relocate with their children out of state to cancel those plans if a judge views their move as not aligning with their children’s “best interests."

The new stricter standards for parent relocation requests were issued last week as part of the New Jersey Supreme Court’s landmark ruling in the matter of Bisbing v. Bisbing. Previously, custodial parents who wished to move from New Jersey to a different state or country were only required to show the courts that the move would not be harmful to the child. If the decision to move was viewed by the courts as made in good faith, the custodial parent’s request was generally approved, even in the face of objections from the non-custodial parent.

Under the new Bisbing rules, all relocation requests must now be decided by applying more far-reaching “best interests” standards. It is a change viewed as placing custodial and noncustodial parents on more equal footing. For example, in the past, a custodial parent landing a good job in another state may have been reason enough for the courts to approve the parent’s move with their child. Those days are no longer. If the custodial parent’s relocation will result in the child missing out on regular contact with the noncustodial parent — and the courts view this regular contact as in the child’s best interests — the custodial parent’s relocation request may be denied.

For many custodial parents, the new rule change could mean saying no to that dream job or plans to start over again in a new state. Is this fair? For parents who wish to relocate with their child, here are some steps to help you evaluate if your desire to relocate is truly is in your child’s best interests:

Try to work it out: Before heading to court, sit down with your child’s other parent and explain your plans and what is prompting you to move, and what you can do to keep the parent’s relationship with your child as strong and stable as possible. Depending on how far away the move is and how it will impact your current parenting time plan, you may want to offer to your child’s other parent a few extra weekends or school vacation weeks that you give up. You may decide that the child spends all or part of summer vacation with the other parent, or you can schedule in times during the week for Skype or FaceTime. Make it known to your child’s other parent that you care about their relationship with your child and are committed to helping them maintain it. If your child’s other parent agrees to the move, get it in writing (and any changes to your parenting time schedule). If your child’s other parent agrees to your plans to move, you generally will not need to go to court.

Consider the benefits and drawbacks of moving. You may be planning a move to Maryland because your serious romantic partner lives there. That is personally fulfilling for you, but what will the move mean for practical aspects of your child’s life? How do the schools compare? Will your child be able to take part in their same sports or hobbies? Is there the same access to medical care as where you currently live in New Jersey? Will your child be able to continue in the same religious upbringing if you move? What is your child’s relationship like with your new partner? Does your child have an easy time making new friends? If you will work in your new location, how will this impact time with your child?

Is your child old enough to have a preference? Once your child is mature enough, they may begin to express a distinct preference for which parent they want to spend more time with, or may severely resent having time with their other parent curtailed in any way. How do your plans impact time they spend with their other parent? How flexible are you with agreeing to your child spending long stretches of time (i.e. summer vacation) with their other parent? For long distance moves, will you (and the child’s other parent) be able to financially afford the possible air travel or other costs that your child needs to spend time with their other parent?

Talk to a family law attorney. Working with a family law attorney can help you evaluate your options and understand the best ways to present your request, and what you can do to support your child’s best interests. If you and your child’s other parent reach an agreement, your attorney can make sure this agreement will be accepted by the courts. If needed, a family law attorney can help you submit your request to move to the courts and also help with any related custody modification issues. Look for family law attorneys that offer free consultations so you can go over your situation and get answers to your questions.

New jobs, new relationships, and a desire for a new start in life can motivate people to relocate out of New Jersey to live someplace different, and often, someplace very far away. Relocating and starting over may indeed be the best decision for you. But the courts in New Jersey now want you to stop and carefully ask yourself: is this the best decision for your kids?

Family law expert Bari Z. Weinberger is a certified matrimonial law attorney, author, and founder of Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group, New Jersey's largest law firm dedicated exclusively to divorce and family law matters.