My Top Ten List of Things I Just Don't Get!

My Top Ten List of Things I Just don’t Get

OK, the fact that I am old has now been officially confirmed.  It happened in a flash just after Hurricane Irene passed through.  My sweet neighbor (40+) called in response to the automated message from the Township Manager – just checking, as advised to do – on his “elderly neighbors.”

This was tongue in cheek, I hope, since I feel no older than 30 – well, maybe 35, since I think that was a better year – but it can no longer be denied:  at almost 69, I am in the category of “elderly.”

And, being at that advanced age might explain why there is now so much that I do NOT understand.  My Top Ten List:

10. Why would the Federal Government go after big banks when they just bailed out big banks?

9.  Why can’t our government leaders work and play well together?  Surely that simple “subject” is one on which they should be getting a Satisfactory, if not Excellent, grade on their report cards.  (And, if they can’t, is it time to close down government, as one would close down an inefficient school??)

8.  Why would Verizon’s response be, when you finally get through to them on your cell phone (PRE-hurricane, by the way), “We are experiencing extremely high volume. . .and suggest you go to www.verizon. . .blah, blah, blah.  Excuse me?  I am calling because I CANNOT go to anything.com since I have no internet, no phone, and no TV.

7.  Why is AT & T advertising that they are raising the bar when, in fact, they are lowering the bar, so much so, that I can no longer use my cell phone at the location where AT & T used to be the only service that worked.

6.   And – why can’t cell towers be shared??

5.   Why do emergency services stop working during emergencies?  During the recent earthquake, so many calls were being made that one could no longer make calls.  Televisions and radios go out as soon as the winds get high.  You need batteries that work, or something that you can crank (probably for days) in order to get the information that you need.  Ve-ry frustrating to those of us who are elderly.

4.  Why do airplanes oversell?  Why do doctors schedule too many appointments?  These are in the same category, and there are many others right there with them, the general question being, why isn’t MY time worth something?

3.  Why do pedestrians go when the walk sign is not on and why do cars go when pedestrians are in the crosswalk?  Why have cashews gone up 35% while the price of cherries has actually come down?  What happens to all those calls that might be monitored or recorded?  Is that monitoring and recording really improving customer service?  And what are the additional delivery options when you make a cell phone call?  Has anyone every tried them?? (Call this category miscellaneous.  I just keep thinking of more!)

2.   Why don’t all the remedies that are lined up in drug stores do what they’re supposed to do?  We would all be young, alert, lubricated, headache- and pain-free, regular, etc., and so on.  And if nothing does what it says it will do, why is it still on the shelves?

1.   And, finally, I remember clouds - cumulus, stratus, cirrus, nimbus - from long before I was 69, or 35.  But this is 2011 – I have read, and I have tried – to no avail, to understand. . . what, in today’s world is a CLOUD??

Having listed ten puzzlements (out of many hundreds), I will now retreat to a quiet corner with a glass of red wine (which is supposed to do wonderful things for me) and. a good book