'Cursed' Dress Turns Tears To Joyful Giving For Toms River Woman

TOMS RIVER, NJ — Daria Buck says she was just looking to shake off the sadness when she posted her wedding dress for sale in a Facebook forum a week ago.

"I was meeting with the divorce lawyer the next day," Buck, 37, of Toms River, said. Her marriage of five years was being formally dissolved, "and I was feeling all of the emotions you can think of. I knew I had to make myself laugh."

Like many women, Buck's wedding dress was one of the biggest symbols of a past she was about to leave behind. Some women burn them or shred them to close a chapter that has turned out to be an unhappy one. But a post on a Facebook forum that was intended to bring some laughs has taken on a life of its own, and an even more positive purpose: raising funds for a shelter for women escaping domestic violence.

"This dress is beautiful ... and cursed. I wore it on 10/28/12 and Superstorm Sandy hit the next day. In the following 5 years we have seen national disasters, horrible atrocities," Buck wrote, listing the size 10 dress for $25. "This cursed dress pulled me into a life of misery, despair, and spending too much on an ungrateful spouse. It is in need of a good cleaning and an exorcism. Seriously. Upon purchase please consult a priest. Holy water alone won't work, it needs the power of Christ to exorcise the demon that MUST live in it to explain the last 5 years of my life."

She paid $700 for the dress and chose it in part because they were having a Halloween-themed wedding. She remembers the darkened skies at Crystal Point Yacht Club in Point Pleasant as Superstorm Sandy, which made landfall the next day, roared ever closer. But it was her ex-wife's departure less than two weeks after the death of Burk's father that sealed the fate of the marriage.

"I expected a few of my close friends to comment on the post," Buck said. But the post on the Facebook group Jersey Shore Too Much Stuff, a buy/sell forum blew up. People were suggesting places to have the exorcism done, offering up holy water or other thoughts. Burk posted other photos: The dress looming behind her as she read posts, the dress next to her in bed, and hanging with her soon-to-be ex-wife's dress.

"I tried to make it have a life of its own," Buck said, adding she found herself checking her phone constantly to see what else had been written. Many of them were warm and supportive, she said, and the few that weren't were quickly defused. As the comments piled up, with more than 300 in four days, Buck realized it could be something more.

"I said if we could get to 500 comments, I would donate $100 to charity," said Buck, who is the vice president of marketing and strategic planning with a cell phone company. She sought suggestions from the group, and after discussions settled on Dottie's House.

Dottie's House is a Brick Township-based organization provides transitional housing for women and families escaping domestic violence situations, said Christine Hoffman, executive director of Dottie's House. The two-year program includes a whole host of services, from therapy to education to empower women to be self-sufficient and live independently. The families live in apartments that are furnished with everything from beds and tables to pots, pans and dishes, and when a family "graduates" from the program and moves on to their new life, all of the items in the apartment go with them, Hoffman said.

"They become able to live on their own and become strong for themselves and their children," Hoffman said. "The transformation is amazing."

Buck said she wrote her check to Dottie's House on Thursday, but her announcement of her donation inspired others in the group to want to donate as well, so she said told the group she will match 1 percent of the money others donate to Dottie's House on behalf of the dress.

"This is amazing," Hoffman said Friday morning. "All of these donations help. We're a small organization, and this will be such a help."

As of Friday, she still has the dress — white satin with a black panel in the front, black lace trim on the bodice and a black belt at the waist. She still plans to sell it, but for now she is happy that it has found a far more positive role in her life. In addition to becoming a fundraiser to help other women, Buck said she has made some new friends as well as a result of her humor and kindness on the posts.

Buck is welcoming others to join the effort to support Dottie's House to contribute. Donations can be mailed to Dottie's House at its management office, 2141 Route 88 East, Suite 1 Brick, NJ 08724, and Buck asks that every donation on behalf of her effort reference "The Dress" in the memo field of the check. Donations on behalf of "The Dress" need to be received by Dottie's House by Dec. 15, Buck said. She will match 1 percent of all donations that reference "The Dress" by that date.

"(Writing the post) really did genuinely make me feel better," Buck said, but especially nos that it's turned into something so positive, it's even better."

Photos provided by Daria Buck