Just Don't Call Me Ma'am

My father was a very strict parent to us kids. When he said move, you moved. There was no debate, no saying “in a sec” and certainly no putting things off until later. We had to say “yes, sir” and “no, sir.” And we were never allowed to call an adult by their first name. 

If you even thought about it, you got “the look.” Oh, no…the look. That meant one of two things-don’t even think about it or you’re in a massive amount of trouble later. The look usually brought me to tears. As I started getting older, however, I realized that many of the things that my parents taught me, I wanted to teach my own children. 

A couple years ago, my son and I ran into a local police officer that I was acquainted with. I introduced him to my son as Mr. Bob (let’s call him that). The first thing Bob said to my son was “call me Bob,” and guess what? My son got the look. I told Bob that my kids aren’t allowed to call adults by their first names, so he can call you Mr. Bob, Officer Bob, Uncle Bob…whatever you want, but not Bob! 

We, as adults have a wealth of experience and knowledge behind us and kids should respect that. Showing that respect also means not calling adults by their first names. Doing it shows an air of familiarity. It puts two people on the same level and kids are not on the same level as adults. 

This issue can, however, get complicated as some families have close friends that are like family and calling them Mr. or Mrs. is simply too formal. So my suggestion is to let the adult decide what they would like to be called. Are there exceptions to the rule? Sure. It’s all about common sense and simple good manners.

As I continued this rule with my children, I found that my friend’s children followed suit and never called me by my first name. If a child did, I politely corrected them and there was never an issue. So now I’m not only Mom, but Miss. Dawn and Auntie Dawn…just don’t call me ma’am- I’m not old enough for that yet!