Here Comes That Punching Bag Feeling Again

I’ve wanted to write another blog post for awhile now, but honestly, I’m getting tired of reading what I write and of writing what I write.

I figure, if I’m bored with writing about my unemployment experiences, why would you want to read about them?  I’m beyond ready to write a great success story, a happy ending to all these months of effort and hope and discouragement (I’ve been writing this blog since last May).  But I still can’t.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had several interviews, both phone and in-person.  None of them has resulted in a job offer.  It just gets more and more painful to go through this over and over and over.  And I’m facing the reality that my chances aren't getting any better the longer I'm unemployed and the more "mature" I get.

I know I sound like I’m whining, but how can I not when I’m writing about things not working out?  Putting these facts down on paper is depressing.  Why should I depress you too?  And by the way, I’m really not complaining.  I’m simply allowing myself to feel how my cumulative lack of success is making me feel today. 

Crummy. 

I like to think of myself as someone who possesses endless reserves of hope and perkiness and glass-is-half-full optimism.  My positive, cheery attitude toward life is indefatigable.  Isn’t it?

I know that the upbeat part of me would say, Fran, it’s time to try another approach.  It could be that a coach would be helpful, someone who could study me and see if my interviewee skills need work.  Maybe I’m not selling myself effectively.  Maybe I need to change my image: my hair or my clothes or my voice.

You know what’s the worst part about interviewing and then not getting the job?  It’s that no one ever tells you why they didn’t choose you.  You’re left to wonder what, exactly, it was.  Was it simply that another candidate had more of the experience or skills that they wanted?  Or was it something about your “presentation” – your style or confidence or appearance or self-marketing technique?  They never tell you, so you never know what it is that you should do differently the next time.  You’re left guessing.

In fact, I don’t know if you’re “supposed” to do this, but I just emailed the interviewer for the most recent job I wasn’t offered.  I asked her if she could please give me feedback as to the reason or reasons I wasn't selected because it would help me with future applications and interviews.  I wonder if I’ll hear back from her?

Either way, while I’m allowing myself a little time – just a short time, I don’t want to become stuck in this place – to feel human, there are a few things I do intend to do:

1. I’ll make sure that I don’t actually become depressed (see, for example, “Dealing with Depression During Your Job Search,” http://blog.jobfully.com/2011/01/dealing-with-depression-during-your-job-search/).
2.  I’ll read up on what I can do differently next time (see “Are You Getting Interviews but Not the Job?” http://college.monster.com/benefits-entry-level-resume/articles/1212-are-you-getting-interviews-but-not-the-job).
3. I’m also going to attend a Neighbors-Helping-Neighbors get-together for unemployed people at the Cedar Grove Library on Feb. 9, 2012, run by fellow Cedar Grove resident Stewart Linder (see http://www.northjersey.com/news/business/137998718_Job_group_comes_to_Cedar_Grove.html)

I’m not giving up.  I’m just going to be a little gentle with myself.  It’ll help me get ready for the next round.