Unemployment’s Down, Except Where It's Not; Prospects Are Up – Maybe?

There’s some good news, some bad news, and some news that could go either way.  Which would you like to hear first?

OK, the good news is that the unemployment rate fell in 39 states in April.  That’s according to information released Friday by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/laus.pdf).

You’ve probably guessed (or read elsewhere) the bad news: New Jersey wasn’t one of those 39 states (see http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/05/unemployment_rate_in_nj_unchan.html).

But it could have been worse: the Garden State’s unemployment rate didn’t go up either.  At 9.3 percent, it was the same in April as it was in March.  The national average is 9 percent.

And the news that could go either way?  Well, I refuse to get my hopes up, but I think that I may have perhaps a phone interview next week about a job I’ve applied for.

Could I have worded that any more tentatively?

I don’t allow myself to get my hopes up anymore.  It’s too hard to get excited about the prospect of a new job, only to ultimately not be offered it.   I’ve applied for too many jobs over too much time to permit myself to think, when I do get a “nibble,” that I’m actually likely to get the job.  Instead I try to find a safe emotional place, somewhere around extremely-cautious-yet-realistic optimism, and let myself feel that relatively positive feeling for as long as I can.

It makes me nervous to even write about this here.  I’ve gotten superstitious; I’m afraid I’m going to jinx myself by even mentioning the chance of a job, or that I’ll embarrass myself and feel bad if I talk about it and nothing comes of it.

My boyfriend always tells me to think positively, to project an upbeat attitude.  I shouldn’t feel skeptical or unenthusiastic about my chances of actually landing a job.  This will only cause me to give off negative “vibes” and make people less likely to hire me. (Why are there so many fishing metaphors associated with looking for a job – a “nibble” from a potential employer?  “Landing” a job?  For that matter, I’m job “hunting,” right?  I feel like some ancient hunter/gatherer, stalking my prey.  My resume is the bait, if I’m using the fishing metaphor, or else it’s a spear, if I’m in a hunting mood.)

It’s kind of sad, though, that I feel that I have to prevent myself from feeling too good about my chances because I want to protect myself from feeling too bad if things don’t work out.  There’s not a lot of range of emotion there; no highs, but no lows either.  And the goal is to avoid the lows.

Just once, though, I would like to allow myself to feel ecstatic (now there’s a great word!) about the possibility of finding a job soon.  Wow, wouldn’t that be fantastic?  Wouldn’t that feel great?  I would be so happy.

OK, I felt it.  It did feel good!  But that’s enough of that.  Better to stay in my emotional safety zone.  It’s been a long haul and this somewhat neutral, limited range has enabled me to persist, to remain determined, to not give up.  It really does require an instinct for self-preservation to marshal your inner resources and persevere through a lengthy job hunt.  

Now if I could only snag myself one of those elusive wild boar.