Waiting by the Phone (for a Call About a Job)

I think that one of the worst parts about looking for a job, if not THE worst part, is waiting for the phone to ring (or, occasionally, for the email to arrive).  I’m talking about the seemingly endless waiting and hoping for calls about jobs for which you’ve applied.

Ladies, remember how it felt when you’d been out on a first date with someone you really liked, but then you had to wait for him to call again?  (This was back in the days when it was “too forward” for a young lady to call a young man.)  That was an awful feeling.  Will he call or won’t he?  Why isn’t he calling?  How long should I wait for him to call?  I can still hear my mother telling me to get busy and get out of the house, to stop “waiting around” for the phone to ring.  (No cell phones back then either.)

All those ancient “poor poor pitiful me" feelings get stirred up again, at least for me, by this job-hunting business.  I feel so pathetic today and I hate this feeling. 

Of course, when looking for a job, we’re advised that it’s perfectly appropriate to call or email to follow up if you haven’t heard anything.  It shows your interest and your persistence.  This has been one of the more difficult things for me to do, however, maybe because it was so ingrained in me as a girl that calling makes me look desperate.  I know I shouldn’t be equating job-hunting with dating, but on an emotional level, there are definite similarities, don’t you think?  Both situations can be rough on your self-esteem.

Because really, on my darker, more pessimistic days of unemployment, the feelings that I don’t like to acknowledge (but which I’m purposely trying to identify now) are like this:

No one wants me.  I’m not as good as everyone else.  I’m not as good as I think I am.  I’m being judged and I’m coming up short.  (When I feel like this, I wish Mom were still around to boost me up like she always did!)

So if I’m caught in one of these darker moods, it’s exactly the wrong time for me to follow up on job applications.  I have to wait a little bit until the mood passes; and fortunately, it always does.  I’ll make those contacts when I’m feeling more like, Oh, yeah, I’m good, they don’t know what they’re missing, I’m going to give them a call or email them to let them know that I’m still interested in their job and boy, would they be lucky to have me! 

Since I’ve been looking for work, my emotions go up and down like this all the time.  I don’t know how it could be otherwise, even if you do normally feel pretty good about yourself.

It’s just that it’s been such a quiet day today.  The phone is not ringing.  No one is emailing.  Nothing is happening.  I’m trying everything I can think of and the result is just – this silence.

Yet I really do believe that every day is a new start, that something can happen at any time to pleasantly surprise me. 

But in the meantime, how do I deal with the waiting?