Who Am I Now?

Ward Bond is my favorite character actor. You may not know him by name but recognize his roles which may be the best testament to how good he was at his craft. He was a Yankee Captain in ‘Gone with the Wind’, a cop in ‘The Maltese Falcon’, a villain in ‘Young Mr. Lincoln’, the Chief Boatswain Mate in ‘Mister Roberts’, the priest and movie narrator in ‘The Quiet Man’ - and in what is probably most famous role in a movie that is always synonymous with the Christmas Season, he was ‘Bert the Cop’ in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. Jim Henson named two Muppets ‘Bert’ and ‘Ernie’ after this movie, ‘Bert the Cop’ and ‘Ernie the Cab Driver’ respectively.

Although Mr. Bond played his roles with grace and integrity, playing such wide and varied roles is really no different than what we do in every day life. Ask any mother. You can be a mother, which carries the role of a lifetime – raising children. You may be a mom, a soccer mom, a chauffeur, dance instructor, math teacher, party planner, Santa, accountant, counselor, doctor, aide, advisor and the list goes on and on.

In the world of disability the roles change and sometimes change instantly. I went into the hospital thinking I had a terrible case of food poisoning, went into a coma and woke up six weeks later to find my legs were amputated. My arms were almost lost too but were saved. I did lose parts of each lower arm, use of my hands, both thumbs and some fingers. At one point during all of ‘this’, I was looking at my remaining life with the distinct possibility of losing both arms and legs, going through the rest of my life as a torso. This was a role I was not prepared to play. A character I knew nothing about. Who am I now?

When a person retires they have all of this positive energy, regardless of their personal like or dislike of their jobs and career. Suddenly they are home, without a schedule, with no challenges or goals, no way to channel this emotion. Many of you reading this may be asking – and the problem is?? But yes, there is something to be said of having a plan once you move on to another role in your life. Many of us are identified by what we did for a living, our career role and now we are retired. Who am I now?

This is the thought I had at one point and why I felt it was important to get involved with something as soon as it would be feasible. When I came home and it became apparent that I was going to be OK, we wondered what I could do. Before I got sick I was a proud member of the St Catherine’s Parish Council, appointed by Msgr. Charles Gusmer, pastor. Fr Charlie retired and went to another parish and the new pastor Msgr. Robert Slipe asked if I would like to complete my term. I was flattered and accepted, but deep down wondered what – if anything – I could really offer in my new ‘role’.

Yet I knew I would at the very least put forth a good effort and away we went. The first meeting was the first time I was without my wife Lisa or my aide Tony. This was a bit scary in one way but there is a trust I have in the people of St Catherine’s parish that goes beyond words so if something did happen I was in good hands.

What did happen is that I was looked upon as another member. In fact, it was rare that an action was taken about physical limitations, and for me that IS the goal, to be viewed just like anyone else. Don’t get me wrong as I do appreciate people opening up a door for me or holding the chair as I sit down, but just to participate like another member was a huge step forward for me.

Here too, for those of us in new roles of life we may want to consider how volunteering not only helps us, but how much it can help others. As a big believer in getting involved the possibilities are there - We all just may have to consider our own personal well-being and know our limits but we can look forward to this new role and perhaps should plan for a ‘call-to-action’ on causes we support, setting our schedules, making our goals.

In 2012 you may hear/read/see some amputees that run. In the November/December 2011 issue of ‘InMotion’ Magazine there is a profile story of two amputees who live very full and active lives. They both run and in short, are very good. They are competitive in their own right and are now making other competitors nervous. Their prosthetic legs are not bionic. They are not lucky, nor want to be looked upon as doing well simply because they have no legs, they work hard and are competitive. They want to win, not just run - big difference.

Here is a link that provides some details –

http://www.amputee-coalition.org/inmotion_online/inmotion-21-06-web/#/1/

You may be reading this and think about the other areas in life you may wanted to get involved with except your day-to-day life kept getting in the way. Now may be the right time to try a new ‘role’ and be competitive again. Now may be the time to finally fulfill your New Year’s resolution to get more involved with your community. Now may be the time the community can really benefit by your expertise.

Our friends at Verona-Cedar Grove Patch have provided me a forum within the guise of a BLOG that may help shed some light on how to move on after a major life altering ‘role’. The 2012 year may shed new light on why physical limitations are not a dead-end and as we can now begin to understand that it’s only inspirational if someone else is doing it.

Here’s to putting our best foot forward for 2012.