VIDEO: Housewives Season 3 Premiere

Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 3 Premiered on Monday with a charity-fundraiser party at the Brownstone to introduce the new cast members: Kathy Wakile of Wayne and Melissa Gorga of Montville. 

Melissa, who is married to Teresa brother Joe, replaces Danielle Staub as Teresa’s dramatic foil, while Kathy, Teresa’s cousin, fills the familial void left by Dina Manzo. All of which make for riviting reality TV.

What is at the center of the family tensions between Melissa and Teresa and their husbands Joe, is a mystery that is sure to slowly devolve throughout the season, but for some other questions raised in the Premiere, Patch has answers.

The Manzos

Big change is afoot in the Manzo household, as Albie and Chris move out on there own leaving Lauren as the only chick for this mother hen. We found out what happened to Albie’s law career (it fizzled), but the Big Shocker is Chris leaving the Brownstone, with Al’s blessing.

Many are asking, is he going to open that Strip Car-Wash — or possibly take that Cajun Man Comedy Act on the road — and that we don’t know, but we do know what the next career move is for the Manzo brothers. It’s called Blk, and IS the new Black…actual black water that tastes like really good water, which is what it is… Spring water infused with Fulvic Acid , a “powerful organic poly-electrolyte antioxidant and free-radical scavenger” made up of prehistoric  DNA remains mined from shale in Arizona. 

We aren’t sure where you can buy it or how much it costs…its marketed as a trace-mineral rich feel-good energy (and everything) drink that’s either snake oil or the equivalent of a day at the spa in a bottle.

The Laurita Family

The Laurita Household is also in the midst of change. In addition to baby Nicolas growing more mobile (and adorable) by the day, Jacqueline’s daughter Ashely is on the move as well—commuting to the city and working as an unpaid interning for Lizzie Grubman’s PR firm. Grubman, who served 37 days in jail for her notorious felonious DWI in the Hamptons (2001), gives Ashley a peptalk in the premiere and calls her "a carbon copy of herself" . With Ashley’s new blond ‘do, plumped lips and foot tattoo, is she poised to go down a similar road as her new mentor? Or will Jacqueline and Chris be able to rein her in before its too late?

 And Lastly but certainly not least. The party at the Brownstone raised funds for several charities: The Wounded Warrior Project, To Write Love on Her Arms, and Stop Child Trafficking Now.

The Manzo and Laurita families have been busy putting their celebrity muscle behind so many charities of late, they may as well change the town name to Philanthropy Lakes. Earlier this month, the cast walked as Team Laurita for March For Babies, followed by the Rescue Ink family Italian Night Fundraiser at the Brownstone, hosted by Carolyn and her sister Frannie.

Next Monday, the Brownstone will Play Host to the biggest Ladies’ Night celebration of them all, the Project Ladybug The May 23 event, titled “Wine, Women & Shoes.”