Can sour kill you?

This conversation began at a family restaurant when a server walked by with deep fried cheese in cheese sauce on top of a triple cheese burger all dipped in batter and fried once again and served on a bed of shredded cheese (or something similar). “Whoa, that’s a heart attack on a plate,” said I, not realizing quite how this would alarm the children.

Thus began a rather lengthy discussion of food choices and an explanation of why the children would not have to call 911 just yet for the recipient of this culinary catastrophe.

The gist was essentially that sugar, cheese and other assorted delicious foods could have a devastating effect on one’s health in the long term. And for cheese to be imminently deadly, a 100-pound block would have to fall from the sky and land on said individual’s head.[i] Thus began a month long discussion of food as killer. My favorite – Can sour kill you? – follows.

There are five generally accepted taste qualities, Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Salty and Umami (aka Savory).  Sour taste is stimulated by acid in foods. From Current Biology:

Sourness may have co-evolved with sweetness as an indicator of when fruits should be consumed. Acidity, and thus sourness, is also an indication of fermentation, which can enhance the bioavailability of nutrients in certain foods. But strong sourness is typically avoided, which may protect against consumption of acids at concentrations that can damage tissues and teeth.

And here is a quick refresher of the pH scale, acids and bases from the EPA:

The pH scale measures how acidic or basic a substance is. It ranges from 0 to 14. A pH of 7 is neutral. A pH less than 7 is acidic, and a pH greater than 7 is basic. Each whole pH value below 7 is ten times more acidic than the next higher value. For example, a pH of 4 is ten times more acidic than a pH of 5 and 100 times (10 times 10) more acidic than a pH of 6. The same holds true for pH values above 7, each of which is ten times more alkaline—another way to say basic—than the next lower whole value. For example, a pH of 10 is ten times more alkaline than a pH of 9… Chemicals that are very basic or very acidic are called “reactive.” These chemicals can cause severe burns.

Tissue damage, severe burns… but what about death? The Center for Public Integrity was quoted by ABC News in a story about toxic chemicals at oil refineries. An excerpt from their original report:

Hydrofluoric acid, known for its ability to race long distances in a cloud, is extremely toxic. It causes lung congestion, inflammation and severe burns of the skin and digestive tract. It attacks the eyes and bones. Experiments in 1986 detected the acid at potentially deadly levels almost two miles from the point of release.

So there you have it, certain acids at high enough concentration can kill you, so by the transitive property:

Sour = Acid

Acid^{High Concentration} = Deadly, therefore

Sour^{HighConcentration} = Deadly

I just love ridiculous equations.

There are also some interesting alternative definitions from the Urban Dictionary that you might enjoy.  According to Nancy Reagan, definition one would kill you too.

[i] or maybe not - see Gawker’s report of a customer at Heart Attack Grill.