The Name Game

This week the Social Security Administration released its list of the top baby names in the U.S. for 2011. The list reveals new trends, names that have had the biggest boost in popularity, and names that have fallen out of favor.

But when it comes to baby names, one thing never changes:  everyone has an opinion. 

A quick glance at the list shows that names continue trending from unique to unusual to names that are more like...interesting.  Names that didn’t used to be names continue to gain popularity.  So do cities as baby names.  In fact, according to the list, Brooklyn ranked #21 for baby girl names in 2011. That is pretty popular for a name that 10 years ago barely broke the top 200.  And I bet you not one of those babies actually lives in Brooklyn.

It seems like the more creative we get with names, the more opinionated people become.  Which raises the question - has naming our children gotten out of control or should everyone just mind their own biznachios?

I find many expectant couples choose not to reveal their shortlists so they won’t be influenced.  When I was expecting our son, we weren’t too cagey about our potentials.  And even if we had decided to keep it top secret, there was one thing I knew I had to do – socialize the name with my parents before it was there in black and white on the birth certificate. 

A lot of people don’t get why I would want to do this.  It’s not so much that I felt I needed their approval as it was a case that if they didn’t like the name, I would never hear the end of it.  

We decided on a boy name fairly quickly.  It was simple, traditional…a good solid name. It was Edward.  Okay, it was not Edward.  However, I’ve made a decision to keep certain personal details about my son private.  I think it’s only fair to him since he didn’t really choose to have his life chronicled on the Internet.  Okay, who am I kidding?  It’s mostly because I plan to share lots of very embarrassing material about his life as a toddler in this blog.  LOTS.

Anyway, like I said, his name is not Edward, but it might as well be. 

Girl names on the other hand, were a different story. 

I grew up with what is probably considered to be a “traditional” name.  I hated it.  To me, Emily felt not so much traditional as it felt just plain old fashioned.  In those days, Jenny was the name to have and LOTS of girls had it, including my younger sister.  In fact, Jennifer was the #1 name for girls the year I was born.  By contrast, in 2011 it was #134 – 113 spots behind Brooklyn. (“Brooklynn” – double n! – also beat Jennifer by five spots.)

But back when I was growing up, it felt like the only real association most people had with the name Emily in popular culture was Auntie Em from The Wizard of Oz.  Yes, my name conjured up images of an elderly woman with grey hair, a farm and a wayward niece. Sexy.

So I was completely shocked when in recent years, Emily had a bit of a renaissance.  It topped the list for most popular girl names for over a decade.  Had everyone lost their minds?

Nope.  People just wanted to differentiate their children from day one and so far it seems there are two ways to do that – hit the archives and dust off a name that hasn’t been popular for decades, or start making up names.  The trends suggest that lately we’ve done a bit of both.

The first time I remember meeting another Emily, I was a senior in high school. I doubt my sister can say that (sorry, Jenny).  Looking back, it was nice to be the only Emily and I was slightly annoyed when I would hear my name called in the school hall and turned around only to find they meant her, not me.

Although I predict that Emily is now as ubiquitous in schools as Jenny was when I was growing up, we’ve moved on from Emily.  Other names continue to move up the list and it will be interesting to see where we are at in another 10 years.

As for my shortlist, when it came to girl names, I was leaning toward something more unique than traditional. I wanted something that was different, but not trendy. Or silly. Now I don’t want to inadvertently offend anyone, so I won’t use an actual name, so let’s just say number one on my list was “Broccoli” (at least I don’t think this is an actual name…yet). 

When I told my parents, they were…how can I put this? Um…candid about what they thought.

“Emily, are you crazy?” my father said.

For the next two weeks, he would call me up every day and run through a list of possible and, in his mind, more suitable names.  When I rejected every one of them, he seemed hurt.  “But I’ve spent days working on this.  I even learned how to Google.” 

He was working hard to persuade me.  Was the name really that bad?  It was inspired by Shakespeare.  How bad could it be?

Still, I thought I should reconsider.  One piece of practical advice my Dad gave me – pretend you are trying to find your child in the grocery store so you can get an idea of how it will sound in a real world scenario. Imagine yourself wandering up and down the aisles shouting “Brock-leeeee??!!  Brock-uhhhhhhh-leeeeeeee?!?!?”

He was starting to get to me.

It didn’t help that a few weeks before my due date, my sister Jenny got a dog.  What did she name it?  Chloe.  A name that, up to that point, was a close second on my shortlist.  Not cool, Jenny.  Not cool. When my Dad heard this, he begged my sister to change the dog’s name…to Broccoli.

Of course, it was a moot point when I had a boy.  Or was it?

When my Dad came to the hospital to meet my son for the first time, we both said the same thing – in unison – “Good thing it’s a boy!”

But that was really only short term resolution.  What if I have another child?  And what if next time it is a girl?  Maybe by then I will have other ideas about baby names.  But maybe not.  If I want to name my child Broccoli or Pencil or even Roy G. Biv, why should anyone else care?

I like to think that no matter what I name my child, once the baby arrives, all of the opinions will melt away and my parents will be so enamored with that child that it won’t matter.

Or maybe in trying to differentiate a child with a name, I’m missing the point.  After all, my son has one of the most traditional names around. Yet I still think he is unique in every way.

To see how your favorite names stack up, visit the complete list at: http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/