Teens and Anxiety- Part 4

Below is the 4th and final section of my article on teens and anxiety. Look for my article next week on Teens and Peer Pressure. As always, I welcome your comments and questions! 

More Suggestions to Help Your Stressed out Teen

Some parents make the mistake of “beating a dead horse.” While it is important to point out to your teen that you notice and acknowledge their stress, it is just as important as knowing when to move on in the conversation. They will know they are understood and heard and can then focus on something more relaxing and positive.  Do not give the problem more attention than it deserves.

A suggestion I often give to parents is to attempt to reduce the things/events/situations that cause your teen stress. Whether it be too many after school activities or having difficulty getting ready on time in the morning, there are certain actions that can be taken to avoid having extra unnecessary stress. 

I believe it is important for parents to be patient with their teens. I know it is difficult to watch your child suffer in any way. As mentioned previously, even though our urge is to fix their problems, this in fact does more damage in the long run than it does to help them. You would be helping your child much more if you can be a role model of someone who is a good problem solver. A good way to define a good problem solver is one who can acknowledge, accept and  talk about their feelings, learn how to self soothe in a healthy way and one who does not “sweat the small stuff.” A good problem solver can also make the choice to be happy, relaxed, “okay” and overall not stressed out! 

Finally, my last piece of advice is to simply be there for your teen. Know that they do not and will not always feel like talking but that does not mean they want to be alone. They are still at that age similar to a 2-year-old who is first learning to separate from their parents. Can you recall your toddler walking away from you and continuously stopping and turning back to make sure you are watching and are still there? This is their way of ensuring their safety while venturing out into the world as an independent person who is separate from you. Your teen is doing the same but needs to know that you are still there for them even if they had a bad day and do not feel like talking about it. So try to spend time with them. Make dinner together, watch their TV show with them, take the dog for a walk together. Your teen may just surprise you with actually being able to relax and enjoy your company! 

Important Notice: The information presented above is provided for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for consulting a psychologist or other mental health professional to discuss your unique situation. If you would like to talk with me about it, you may call my office at 914-329-5355.