Christmas Miracle on Ave J

I realize that Christmas was yesterday, but a remembrance of an incident that happened to me approximately six years back on Ave J. has been coming up in my mind lately, and I feel I need to share it, because what happened was a gift that was shared with me, that I want to pass on.
   

     It was a very cold winter's night during the Christmas season and I was getting ready to head home after some shopping on Ave J when I heard a voice from behind me say "Excuse me Miss." I turned and standing there in front of me was a man in his 70's in a hat and raincoat. I didn't feel frightened and thought he was going to ask me for directions, but instead he asked. "Were you singing a Christmas carol?" I said yes, and smiled and I couldn't understand what was so remarkable about that, until he mentioned that on Ave J it was something you usually didn’t hear during this season and then I realized that we were standing underneath a huge Menorah. I told him I just like to sing Christmas carols and this was the season when I wouldn't be conspicuous, or so I thought. He then asked if I had a few minutes because he wanted to talk to me. My first instinct was the big "uh-oh," I better get out of here quick, but I sized him up and decided that I would give him a minute to speak. He said, "I want to tell you something important, this is something I want to share with you." He had my attention. "You must love yourself before you can love others." I was stunned because it hit home. My son was away at college and I was living alone, feeling sad and lonely. I didn't know what to say. He continued and told me he was a retired psychology professor from NYU, whose wife had died only about six months before and I reminded him of her. I knew he wasn't trying to pick me up or anything like that. He said he wanted to help me because that was his profession. He also asked me if I had any children, and I said yes a 19 year old son. He asked how our relationship was, and I had to admit that we weren't getting along. He told me my son was not yet a man, but he was no longer a child and if I wanted to have a better relationship with him I needed to treat him like a man. Somehow what he said made a great deal of sense and I knew I would put it into practice. He also started to tell me about a book that I should read, but he kept saying to me over and over, "This is important." Unfortunately, the cold pushed the title out of my mind, but the feeling that this no random experience almost made me dizzy.
 

  The cold finally started to penetrate into my bones and we said good-bye. When I got on the train I thought about what he said and I knew he had taken time out of his life to share his knowledge, and it was something I needed to hear that moment. Little could he know that those words of encouragement kept my feet walking in the right direction towards my happiness. He was also right about my treating my son like an adult, it did change our relationship for the better.  I repeated this story to someone only just a few days ago, and it resonated for them deeply. So, the gift this man gave me so long ago is still giving, and I think he would be glad to know it.

    Shortly after we had said good-bye I wondered, what had I done to help him? I then remembered that he had mentioned that he had started to give away items from his home now that his wife was gone, like their t.v. and their computer, and I said to him as gently as I could, "Your wife died but you didn't." I thought that maybe I had been harsh, but it was something that was important for him to know.