What's the Right Thing to Do When a Guy is Really into You, but You're not Into Him?

Sure, if feels great to have a guy swooning over you, but real relationships are equal partnerships where both people love, care for, and cherish each other in equal measure. If you really want a higher love or a Soul Mate, then you need to move on from this one-sided relationship and go out and find just that. Let’s face it: The time you’re wasting hanging around with this man, who you know isn’t “The One,” and could never become “The One,” is time that could be better spent on getting to know yourself and figuring out what it is that you really do want in Mr. Right.

Listed Below are 7 Clear Signs that this Guy is Really Into You, but You’re Clearly Not Into Him

1) He Calls, Texts, and Emails You All the Time, but You Rarely Bother to Answer Him

When you’re really into a guy, you’re super excited to hear from him, and you’re happy to respond quickly, hoping to hear back from him right away to keep the dialogue going; but with this guy, you’ll wait until you finish watching a ten-hour marathon of Friends, before responding.

Remember those days when you sat by your cell phone for hours waiting for the love of your life to call you? Well, like it or not, that’s how it is, when you’re really into someone.

When you really want to be with a guy, you know exactly how long it’s been since your last conversation, and you sweat it out waiting for the next time you hear from him.

If you barely look at your current squeezes text or ignore his calls all together, you need to take this as a definite sign that you’re just not that into him, and that this relationship has a built in expiration date.

OK, I get it. Maybe you don’t want to hurt him, and you’re hoping that he’ll get the hint that you’re infrequent responses or downright ghosting of him are your way of letting him know that it’s time for him to move on; but if he doesn’t get the message in a reasonable amount of time, then you need to put the cards on the table, and let him know that you think: It’s time to call it quits. Remember that it’s rude to ignore people and this type of unkind behavior really isn’t acceptable. You wouldn’t want it being done to you, so don’t do it to him either.

2) He’s Taken his Profile Off Dating Sites, but You’ve Left Yours On, and You Check Them Several Times a Day for Potential Partners

Personally, you don’t give a damn whether he keeps his profile up or takes it down, and you wouldn’t even waste your time looking, but he was sure to let you know that he has removed his. Instead of being happy with this revelation, you’re secretly sad, because you were really hoping that he’d find someone else, letting you off the hook. When you’re really with “The One” you want to be with, you’re not interested in seeing what else is out there. You’re focused on how to keep this relationship flourishing and keeping a profile up would be a surefire way to lose any guy. Just be honest with yourself and acknowledge that if you were really into this man, you wouldn’t even think about doing this.

When you’re really into a guy, you want to be sure he knows it, and you want him to have no ifs, ands, or buts about it, so taking your profile down would be one of the first things you’d do. Keeping a dating profile up is like a public notice stating that you’re still up for grabs, and that certainly is sending a big red flag to this guy that he’s much more into you than you’re ever going to be into him.

At this point, be honest and let him know that you have no intention of removing your profile; therefore, he should feel free to put his profile back up, if he wants to.

3) He Can’t Seem to Keep his Hands Off of You, but You Do Everything You Can to Avoid Being Intimate

When you’re really hot and heavy and head over heels about a guy, you can’t wait to see him, hold him, kiss him, and make love to him; in fact, you think about this all the time. If lovemaking feels like a chore or the last thing you want to do with your day, then this should signal loud and clear to you that you need to break off this relationship, because you can’t avoid sex with him forever, and doing it just to do it, or because you feel obligated because he’s taken you out to dinner a few times, is going to leave you feeling like a hooker. You’re also going to start negatively effecting his self-esteem, if you keep blowing him off, and this is a cruel thing to do to a man. So ending it, without drama and trauma, by stating that he’s really a great guy, but just not the right one for you. Then, graciously wish him the best of luck in finding his ideal Soul Mate. In this instance, honesty, tempered with kindness, really is the best course of action.

4) He Seems to Love Everything About You, but You Just Want to Change Everything About Him: the Way He Dresses, His Hair, His job, Blah, Blah, Blah

This is a big red flag that he’s infatuated with you, and maybe all that idolizing, adoring, and stroking of your ego feels good, but being in a relationship with someone is a two-way street: It’s about two people being the biggest fans of each other, and not about one person being on a pedestal and the other person being kicked to the curb.

A relationship is not about you making someone over. Staying too long in this lopsided arrangement can start bringing out the worst in you as you criticize everything about him. This is mean girl, bullying behavior, and if you can’t just let him be who he is, cut the relationship off, and find another project to concentrate on, such as remodeling your apartment or cleaning out your walk-in-closet.

5) He’s Always Ready to Help You with Any Project or Problem that Comes up, but You Never Respond to his Requests for Help or Assistance

This kind of guy is great to have around. He’s a handyman, IT guy, tax preparer, painter, landscaper, and auto mechanic all rolled into one. Breaking off with this guy might be difficult because he’s so useful, but using people, is negative karma. By now, you know, “What goes around comes around,” and you wouldn’t want someone using you for your expertise. Healthy relationships call for equal parts giving and taking, and if you can’t give of your time, attention, and assistance willingly, then this shows that you care little for the man you’re with, and ending things sooner than later, will free the two of you to find more suitable partners.

6) He Wants to Take You Out for Dinner and a Movie, but you’d Rather Stay Home with a Bag of Potato Chips and Watch a Re-run of Sex in the City

You’ve finally admitted to yourself that you really don’t care if you ever see him again. This blasé response to his invitations to go out truly shows that you’re bored with him, and that he’s just not worth washing your hair or shaving your legs for.

When you’re head over heels for a guy, you don’t care what you do together, because the key word is – together. You just love being with him. Going for a walk, a drive, to the car wash, or the Laundromat, whatever; it doesn’t matter, because just being near him exhilarates and excites you, and in your heart of hearts, you know that there’s nowhere else in the whole world that you’d rather be than right there beside him.

It may be time to admit that you have to overcome the false belief that having any man is better than having no man, and just let this one go now, even if there isn’t another man waiting in the wings for you.

If you were being 100% honest with yourself, you’d have to admit that you’re happier being alone than you are being with him. If living vicariously through Carrie Bradshaw, and pretending that you’re walking in her Manolo Blahnik Hangisi Pumps seems more fun than going out with your current guy, then it’s time to move on.

7) He Wants You to Meet his Friends and Family, Because He’s so Proud to be with You, but You Don’t Even Want Him to Meet your Chihuahua

If the thought of meeting his mother gives you hives, and you really have no interest in knowing anything about his personal life, let alone meeting the players in his life, then you can see this as a big, neon sign flashing: He’s not the one!

When you’re really into a guy, you want to know everything about him, and you want to show him off to everyone. You feel totally honored and happy to be with him, and you willingly let him be a part of your inner circle.

You can only blow off his desire to meet your friends and family for so long, and eventually you will have to come clean as to why you’d rather not do that. Let him know that you only let your friends and family meet someone that you’re in a serious relationship with. This truth might really hurt him, but your honesty allows him to decide for himself if this is a deal breaker or not. Letting him know, sooner than later, that the two of you are just in a casual dating situation and nothing more, ensures that in the future, he can’t fault you for leading him on or for wasting his time.

With all the above said, don’t you think that you owe it to yourself to make 2017 the year that you find the big love that you’ve been searching for? As James Hillman said, “You have to give up the life you have to get the life that’s waiting for you.”

Cindi Sansone-Braff, The Romance Whisperer, talks to the dead to show you how to live well and love better. She is the author of Grant Me a Higher Love and Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships. Free excerpts of these books are available on Amazon. WholeJoy.com in association with Amazon has named Grant Me a Higher Love one of the greatest texts on the law of love. She has also been featured as a relationship expert in: the Huffington Post, YourTango, Bustle.Com, the Inquisitir News, Brides.com, About.com Dating, and the Deseret News. Call-in or listen every Thursday night, 7:00 pm EST, to her radio show, where you can get free psychic and relationship advice: www.blogtalkradio.com/higher-love. Be sure to check out her web site at: www.grantmeahigherlove.com. She was named Best Psychic five years in a row by the Long Island Press, recommended by Newsday as one of the best psychic/mediums on Long Island, featured in the Daily News and Cablevision’s Neighborhood Journal. Visit her Facebook Page: Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationship, which has 25,000 followers.