Excusing Failure, A Look at Human Desires

The following blog is a follow up to Part 1:The Excuse.

Part 2: Desire

Let me say something about desire. Desire can be a lighthouse of hope, steady, unwavering and waiting for you to touch it.  But desire can also be a vile excuse to justify who you really are.  Expressing desire for something  to others and to yourself is the opiate used to preempt acceptance and also to garner pity when not achieved.  We use desire to justify failure because we want to be remembered as "at least you tried, don't worry, no one is perfect".  The mother's hand on our backs leading us to cookies and milk to help our bruised knee.  And it is in that moment we justify who we are and embrace our true selves, the selves that never really wanted that desire but wanted the fame for trying only to nurture who we really are because if we embraced our true selves and showed it to the world, we would not be seen as how we want.  

So we fake chasing after dreams and goals and revel in their failures because we get pity for it and that buys us time to continue enjoying who we really are while getting praised.  No one wants to hear, "try harder, do better, stop being lazy, not good enough" and the like. But it's easier to hear, "don't worry, we'll try again next time, no one's perfect, maybe it's just not meant for you, at least you gave it your best, you'll get it one day, you'll be fine, focus on something else, let's make it easier, as long as you tried".  That pat on the head for failing has now justified our limits, that we can't do better when in fact we didn't want to do better, we just wanted recognition for expressing the want for better to serve as a diversion from the fact that we want to be who we already are but we can't let you know that because you won't accept us for not wanting more out of life. Hiding who you really are by faking to be with the masses, opiates you from not having to accept your reality that you CAN do better and instead of being sent to your corner with shame and disappointment, you're pitied and praised so while you're reveling in your real self, you won't be looked down on "because you tried".  

Laziness is an active poison and it cloaks itself in so many ways and will go as far as faking effort just to continue to exist without being shunned.  Accepting who you are is hard, accepting that you can be a better person is even harder and enduring the pains and lengths needed to go to actually stand inside a desire made real, is even harder.  

Wanting something and making a few attempts to get it and then getting praised for failing at it is one thing ( I will not do that here in this team).  Wanting something, accepting what needs to be done to get it AND doing everything possible to get it, not accepting failure and then achieving it is a whole other side, this I will nurture.

Asking yourself for more can be as easy or as hard as you make it.  It just depends on what kind of desire your have. You have to decide if that desire is just a nice thought that you like to have and justify not going after it by thinking that your life is too hard, busy or complicated to go after it as a way to hide the fact that you actually do like you're life the way it is and garner pity for it so that no one has the option of asking you for more.  

Or you can decide that this desire I want to be a present day reality and thus make the choices necessary to facilitate you going after it, catching it, conquering it and making it your new reality.  Big difference between the two.  It all comes back to desire.  Be real with yourself and ask yourself what is the purpose of this desire that you have.  Is it to validate yourself among the masses so yo're not seen for who you really are, "see, I have desires too, I'm just like you, I have goals but this stops me and that stops me, but I do try" and win a pat on the shoulder with acceptance, buying you a judgement free reveling of your true self.  

Or is it this desire a thought that you're going to achieve, own and enjoy and make your reality. Fear is laziness's whip that drives you away from your desires.  Fear of disappointing others, fear of losing certain indulgences, fear of being alone, fear of being seen negatively.  How many people have ever downsized their home or car to get out of a monthly payment, given up their smart phone for a regular phone, ended a relationship, moved back home, whatever else you can think of, to bring it all back to you so you can start over your life, safer, better organized, healthier, saner, financially and emotionally free.  Not many, why?Because of fear. Caring too much about image, or what other people will say or even fear of disappointing our own internal pride or self image, fear of being alone.  So fear keeps that desire facade alive, some so subconscious that we don't even realize it. Brainwashed into thinking things will always be hard or too busy or too complicated to fix.  So we live a life, never asking ourselves for more while acting like we're stretching ourselves thin and there is nothing else we can do.  

I've uprooted my life, twice, so I have hands on experience with what it takes to go after a desire, get it and wear it in my reality.  I can definitely promise you that the changes that seem so monumental to make, pale in comparison to that freedom and power you feel when you finally own your dreams and wear them in your reality. The choices made will no longer seem hard and you will be proud of having made them, the consequences will be dust on your heels, the disappointments expressed by those who don't want you to do better will be tumble weeds to the wind. So decide what you want your life to be, stories of frozen desires of what you wanted or stories that start with the words "I did".Thanks for reading.