We last left off with me firing the contractor hired by my condo board, and then discovering that my apartment had been broken into, vandalized, and new air conditioners removed and replaced with broken and contaminated ones that were stored in the building's maintenance room.
I'm not making accusations regarding anyone in particular, but in general, burglars don't put things back, and only a handful of people had access to that maintenance room.
I called the LBPD. They sent me Officer Roll. Officer Roll was fairly professional in his demeanor, but his handling of my complaint would have been comical if it was happening on television.
He spent a good hour advancing increasingly implausible theories about how this could have happened. When I finally lost patience with this, I told him that I didn't care if he thought that magical elves had stolen the air conditioners to regulate the interior temperature of their mushrooms, he was never going to find out what actually happened without asking questions of building security, the condo board, Schneider, and the managing agent.
So, he did. It took him 10 minutes to report back to me that everyone denied all knowledge of what happened. Talk about a thorough investigation! I asked him if all criminals confessed their crimes under such stunning law enforcement pressure.
Right about then, a lawyer friend of mine barged in. She was just meeting me for lunch, but was looking mighty lawyerly and quite lovely, too. Officer Roll finally put pen to paper to take a report, walking into the dining room chandelier 4 times as he did so. I hope his coconut is okay, because we ended the conversation on a pleasant note and shook hands.
The case was assigned to Detective Jose Miguez. Detective Miguez was likewise unwilling to take action on the complaint, saying that "No one saw anything." and pronouncing it a civil matter prior to interviewing any witnesses. I could see that this was not going to end well, but I did eventually shame him into speaking to some of my neighbors. Most people on the first floor weren't there, and those who were didn't witness anything. And that was where Detective Miguez was content to leave it. He refused to call the building manager in for questioning or ask him who had access to the maintenance room. He refused to interview the contractor in any meaningful way. And with each refusal, it became apparent to me that this was not being taken seriously.
I asked to speak to Detective Lt. Chernaski, who has a rather checkered past himself. He reiterated that the case was closed due to lack of evidence - the evidence that Detective Miguez refused to collect - and told me that there was nothing he could do.
The cherry on the sundae was his statement that he "couldn't get a conviction in a court of law" with the evidence. Um. I think it's not the job of the police to get convictions, it's their job to find probable cause to make an arrest. When I told him that, he got very, very quiet.
Schneider the contractor must know a LOT of people at City (Tammany) Hall!
I escalated this to Commissioner Tangney's office, and his initial email responses indicated that he was taking my concerns seriously. However, when he called me back, he was clearly reciting from a prepared statement. This statement included several false statements - a repeat of the "couldn't get a conviction" canard, and a statement that he thought that there was no intent to commit a crime, and a statement that he thought this was a "civil matter" between me and my condo board.
I wonder what he based those ideas on? I heard someone in the background - the DA? Corporation Counsel? - telling him to hang up on me.
What Commissioner Tangney didn't know was that I recorded the entire conversation. Did you know that in New York, you can record your own conversations without disclosing to anyone that you are doing so? There are some neat cell phone apps that allow you to do this without bothersome clicking and background noise. If you are dealing with the LBPD for any reason, I highly recommend that you download one to your phone.
He thinks it ended there, but alas, it shall not. If he wants this to be a civil matter, then a civil matter it will be. But not just between me and the condo board.
What happened next? Read on, reader.
