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Community Corner

A Choice

Or An Accident

Fifteen years ago on a moonlit September evening, George, my brother in law said,

“Anne, you did everything right.”

His words were meant as a consolation at the time.

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They were spoken on the night he learned he had lost a brother, and I had lost a

lover, a husband and my anam cara

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My brother in law and I had never been kindred souls, but neither had we ever been enemies.

Our relationship was based on mutual indifference, which made the words I heard that night, when I was in desperate need, so meaningful.

That kindness happened a long time ago, and on another moonless night recently I remembered them.

And I wondered,

What is right?

Is it a choice, or an accident?

What was right during the years of my beloved’s illness could be misinterpreted today.

He and I chose to believe all would be well, not in the next world (that is easy) but by denial of each day’s reality.

And perhaps it denied the man I loved the ability to say goodbye in his own fashion because he

chose to abide by another’s needs.

And today while I will always be grateful for my brother in law’s kindness, I wonder if I really did the

right thing at all?

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