A Double Standard

So many things changed after he left. While not all of them were monumental; of course, most of them were. But there were also small insignificant lifestyle changes unnoticed at the time that then soon became habits of my own.

Within days of finding myself alone, I stopped watching the 11 o'clock news, something we had done together throughout most of our marriage. I became aware I needed to sleep without undue anxiety so I sought out what I found most relaxing. Of course, initially that was Seinfeld and the classic series has been my medicine of choice ever since.

However, late last Saturday evening I realized I could view the White House Correspondents Dinner, which has always evoked laughter in the past. An hour or so of occasionally ribald, sometimes, a mite off-color humor, but always funny. And I enjoy funny.

Within minutes of the viewing I realized this decidedly did not fit my needs this year. Sadly, it evoked not only anger, but the anxiety I have tried to overcome. I wondered if I was the only viewer reacting with such intensity to what I considered more than inappropriate, but indeed highly shocking commentary.

I have never believed in a double standard for anyone. I realize that is a form of naivete' on my part, but also an intrinsic part of my belief code. Saturday night's performance by a highly paid professional entertainer violated that code to the highest degree.

I may have complained about political correctness in the past. However, there are lines of behavior that most Americans believe in and observe. We have evolved from the type of ethnic slur that some of us may have heard on the streets in our youth. We have taught our children never to cross those language lines, and until Saturday evening I believed we had been successful.

One of the most appalling incidents that occurred during the highly racially toned performance was the use of the "n" word in reference to a sitting President. I frankly don't care if it was used in an affectionate reference. The reality is, the word was used. And sadly, condoned by an audience of political peers and professionals, none of whom had the courage to stand up and object.

It was the second time during the long soliloquy that the entertainer evoked a racial term. Forty years ago when I heard the earlier word for the first time, I was equally as offended as I was Saturday evening. The difference is that when I heard it from the lips of another woman in 1976, I was so upset I avoided her company from that day on. Saturday night it was used at an elegant dinner filled with celebrity guests and prominent people. None of whom voiced a protest or uttered a gasp of disdain.

I cannot think of any justification for such a performance. Is it even remotely possible to offer an explanation to the youngsters in America? Do we smile and say, "Oh, he was only joking, but don't you ever say that." Is there a valid reason why some of the leaders of the press and government did not call out the comedian when the words were spoken?

When and how do we defend a double standard, or is it too late now?