The Gentleman Caller

He is my my gentleman caller, but in reality he has become more than that since I moved closer to his home.

Like all of us, the tote bag of talents the Lord gave him, is a bit uneven. His is heavier on the side of intellect and memory and almost overburdened with an innate knowledge of technology. Admittedly, the bag he carries is a bit unbalanced due to the lack of communication skills, but he more than compensates for that with his patience, courtesy and innate love of fellow man.

He seems to know instinctively when I need assistance even in mundane situations, i.e., if the sidewalk is a bit uneven or a curb seems insurmountable. He is never critical nor impatient with my lack of knowledge of historical events or comprehension of technical information,

Since my own tote bag ( that is becoming frayed with age) has been unbalanced for most of my lifetime, I believed I understood the inequity of the bags others carry. Mine while heavy with archaic quotes of yesteryear and memories of another life, is sadly lacking in humor or the patience that I so respect in others.

However, my Sunday visitor has taught me differently during the 18 months since I moved here.

I don’t believe he ever had behavior modification lessons in kindness or perception. Yet those qualities are a major part of his persona without any calculation whatsoever.

Because of the many hours we have shared during the highly anticipated weekly visits, I have learned something interesting about myself. I have come to realize that many good people, who are without any realization of the pain they may be inflicting, ignore others. They are not deliberately rude, nor is there any calculated cruelty. Indeed not, there is just an avoidance of contact with anyone or anything different; a behavior I suddenly realize I share..

How often have I nodded and kept walking when I accidentally encounter another pilgrim whose aging tote bag is more frayed than mine. How often do I avoid more than a quick ‘Good Morning” to a lonely soul craving a few minutes of conversation. How often do I ignore an invitation to share some leisure time.

Most of us are never intentionally thoughtless, but when we encounter someone carrying a tote bag of abilities not quite like ours, it is far easier to pretend they are invisible

And then, there is the overwhelming courtesy of others who cross our path. The gentleman who invariably acknowledges my caller’s presence with a handshake and “Good afternoon, Sir.” A tribute not to my visitor, but to the speaker whose own bag is obviously heavy with a generosity of spirit..

My weekly caller never has an obvious reaction to the behavior of others. Most likely because he has endured it for most of his life. Other people’s perception of the bag of talents he will carry throughout life is not anticipated, but also not unexpected.

When he arrives each week, he is not bearing bouquets or gaily wrapped boxes of bonbons; rather his gifts are far more subtle. Each Sunday my caller shares the flash of a smile that resurrects the image of the tall warrior we both desperately miss; the obvious patience of a Great Grandfather he never knew, and the strength of all those who taught him to love others.

Although our weekly visits were never intended to teach a lesson, my courteous guest has certainly allowed me to re-examine the contents of my own tote bag. Unfortunately I discovered to my own surprise, it was quite lacking, and I hope I have enough time to restore its balance. Time will tell.