“It Wasn’t You. It Was Your Parents.”
It must be wonderful being approved by the legendary NYT
I wouldn’t know, but it did cause me to pause and wonder this week when I read their affirmation of the book, “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Dr. Lindsay Gibson.
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Obviously, The Gray Lady has subtly endorsed via today’s publication another version of parental rejection.
And I take it personally despite a long infatuation and daily contact with the illustrious New York newspaper.
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I am now 94.
But I am determined to refute their endorsement because I am a Mother and you, dear Gray Lady are not.
And because I am that old; I know more about the subject than you or your editors or the esteemed author.
Maternal love is not toxic. It is not something selected at an in vitro session nor injected with anesthesia during childbirth. It is part of the human condition. It accompanies two eyes, arms and feet.
It arrives the moment a child is placed in your arms. It is not a slice of bologna that can be recalled at whim by a vigilant federal agency.
Nor giving it a precise defamatory nickname, i.e.toxic, can eradicate it.
I am an expert on the subject because I was gifted with the title of Mother over fifty long years ago.
It remains decades later after a child has severed all connection with me, without an apparent reason or discussion.
Has the pain diminished during that time? Has anger replaced the loss?? Does it magnify as I age or wonder why?
No, because the love and yes, gratitude I felt when my 5 lb. infant was placed in my arms will remain in my heart until I breathe my last.
Strangers have questioned: “What did you do?”
Relatives have emphatically stated: “It would never happen to me!"
And I dare to whisper lest the Hounds of Hell overhear: “Beware, Your child is a “hostage to fortune.”
Did I make mistakes? Of course I did.
Did my child make mistakes? Of course he did.
But if we are honest and both admit to our own remorse then
The love we once shared could triumph over even the NYT glorification of parental rejection and their latest endorsement of “Toxic” parents.
