A Preferred

I am beisieged with choices, voices, messages although I crave silence.

They infiltrate my shrinking world

The choices seem simplistic but when I look closer, some take on a sinister significance, and cause hesitation. The caressing invitation to over indulge, ignore recent mandatory diet restrictions and potentially suffer a reaction is a current temptation. Undeniably, often difficult to resist when I focus on an appealing menu.

The media voices are blatant, some indignant; others self righteous, and one and all controversial. I shy away in need of self protection lest I be contaminated by their egos, and political rhetoric. The unwelcome consequence is isolation both social and intellectual.

Still other soothing messages emerge whenever and wherever I roam.

Sitting in the comfort of the lobby awaiting a chariot for transportation, I watch another elderly resident carefully guiding a wheelchair. He embraces the task of caregiver as a privilege rather than a burden, and my soul is lifted in awe.

And without warning another morning drenched in sunlight emerges and I hear the never forgotten words of a young priest giving a eulogy.

The clergyman spoke of choices, those made by the deceased, first as a young warrior, then a lover and finally, husband and father. His words recalled how my Anam Cara embraced each level of life for 83 years including his final challenge.

And suddenly the choices, voices, messages invading my solitude take on a different meaning.

And I find comfort in all the challenges as they invade my chosen cocoon of silence.