The Reality

Tonight I enjoyed a dinner cooked in my new air-fryer. It was a well balanced meal which is so important at any stage of life.

It was also first time I served it on the stark white plates recently purchased from Amazon

The colorful portmellion that graced our family table for decades had been carefully packed when I relocated. I firmly believed having the same familiar items would add to the ease of my relocation,

I admit I clung to that misguided belief for far too long. Until recently, I continued to set the round Ethan Allen table (that had also traveled) with the familiar dishes and treasured table linen..

The azure blue place mats were purchased from Tillingham’s in Bermuda when I accompanied my husband on one of his business trips, The lovely dishes were gifts from our oldest son and his family when they lived in Manchester. I always loved seeing both on our dining room table.

Despite their beauty, I now know it has taken far too long for me to comprehend the lesson I was pretending not to learn,

You cannot bring yesterday with you. It does not travel well. Days of yore are not different from garments no longer needed.. There is never a pang of regret when clothes are outgrown, wrinkled or spotted with age, and lose their validity,

Sadly, it has taken time for me to accept that reality. I continued the game of pretense with the blue place mats and the charming china. Although in my heart I knew they didn’t resurrect yesterday or the warmth of love once shared. Memories are reliant, but physical items shared in another time and place are not. They become brittle with time and evoke sadness rather than joy,

And sometimes I fear they became a hindrance to moving forward and accepting changes in our given path.

Yesterday the four white plates arrived from Amazon and, the English china was packed away. Maybe someday one of my grandchildren will choose to enjoy it. If not, it has served me well.

On the nights when I choose to prepare my own meals, I no longer feel the nostalgia for yesterdays. The simplicity of the new table settings encourages me to accept the stark reality of today.

I must relinquish yesterday. It is gone forever. I will not deny it may be lonelier, but perhaps that is a vital component of facing tomorrow and what that will bring.

I hope I will learn how to do that.