So Very

Sometimes it is the “little things” in life that provide lessons.

Such as yesterday when baking Melissa Clark’s recipe for orange marmalade cake, I inadvertently spilled sugar all over the small countertop,

Then in a moment of pique I dropped the printed recipe into a crevice behind the stove,

Ah yes, and for a brief moment I wondered why I had begun the unnecessary endeavor, I no longer have a family to feed,

Within the hour, however the combined fragrance of sugar, eggs, flour and Dundee’s marmalade reached out and soothed my weary spirit,

And I knew why I still bothered with the “unnecessary” challenges life provides. They evoke yesterday when I was wrapped in a cloak of complacency tied with ribbons of love. Our kitchen was crowded and loud with laughter, sprinkled occasionally with tears, and voices were seldom if ever angry. Opinions differed but without rancor. The fragrance of baking was infused with affection and comfort of shared love,

The baking which is to be shared with other new friends resurrects nuggets of happiness that refuse to abandon me, I need the memories as much as I need the tiny white pills I ingest daily, Perhaps more, to be totally honest.

And yes, the minor roadblocks, spilled sugar, a lost recipe, reminds me life is complicated and sprinkled with love and sadness, as well as accomplishments and loss,

But also, so very wonderful