This Is

Relationships are so incredibly complex. Sometimes you love someone and still cannot understand them. Other times, you may understand someone, but certainly don’t love them.

That is one of the miraculous things about my relationship with Will. Despite the fact that he is 22, and I am.....well, I’m not going to tell you that, but he certainly leads me down mysterious paths.

His interests are eclectic, and when he zeroes in on a topic, I not only understand, but it makes me think, and suddenly, I am young again. And that truly is amazing.

Recently, we have been discussing pioneer TV, and he has queried me on the programs his Dad and siblings watched while they were youngsters. Sometimes I have to reluctantly confess. Occasionally while they watched TV, and their Dad was away on business, I meditated. Admittedly, that is a cloudy description of a brief nap.

Will is a total gentleman, never displaying surprise or negativity, when I provide unexpected information. Yet the other evening despite an attempt to hide his feelings, I could tell he was intrigued when I mentioned having only one TV set in the years his Dad was young, and that it also had a black and white picture.

The programs Will inquired about were family oriented series, LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, MAXWELL SMART, etc. After our Friday Facetime call ended, I began to think about the TV I had watched in those early years after the children had gone to bed.

Suddenly I remembered, THIS IS YOUR LIFE. It was entertaining and enjoyable, but I also cringed a bit when someone from the past appeared, and the recipient of the honor was totally dismayed. It happened more than once as Ralph Edwards would loudly exclaim, “And here is ..........., who gave you your first kiss.” Does anyone really want to remember awkward moments in time, and certainly not while being viewed by thousands of strangers.

Recalling the program, and the klieg lights, and the canned applause, and the emotions of the unsuspecting tribute, I looked around the room, and the pictures I have not only on the wall, but on the weathered desk, and I suddenly realized, ”This Is My Life.”

Every picture has a memory of a period in my life, and the time I shared with those who have left, and those who remain.

My graduation picture is on the wall, next to the one of the man I will ever love. We didn’t know each other then, but we were about the same age going in different directions until the miracle that brought us together one cold January night on a subway platform in Brooklyn.

There are pictures of my parents. Happy pictures while on the annual summer vacation my Dad always mandated. There is a picture of my young Father in his naval uniform, and pictures of my three sons, who sadly he never met, in their uniforms.

There is an incredible picture of my daughter with the Father she adored and so much resembles. Which one do I treasure most? That is impossible to say, because each brings back another happy moment, another miracle in time and place into my mind.

There is one special one with a Grandfather and the little ones he cherished. Such a happy time before illness invaded. A beautiful shot shortly before the end at a Granddaughter’s wedding that captured more than the moment, but the beginning of what was to come.

No, I thought, most of us don’t need klieg lights or a Ralph Edwards or an audience.  We all have our own THIS IS YOUR LIFE program embedded in our hearts and memories.  And thank you Will for helping me to remember that.