Words Of

Despite the wrinkles (yes, I hate to admit it, but true) and the years intervening between youth and old age, I am, was and ever will be a city girl.

Weather without unblemished pavement challenges me, especially seemingly everlasting snow.

Consequently, this a.m. I canceled a long anticipated luncheon. After looking out the window and realizing it was snowing again, I retreated.

A very wise and kind friend inquired “Why?”

When I explained the difficulties of attending (despite available transportation,) she asked:

“Are you too proud to ask for help?”

And those words gave me pause and question if possibly, she was right.

Proud, me????? I wondered and reflected.

I have been brought to my knees emotionally far too often to be proud. I publicly admit to rejection by a once beloved son and his family. I have great grandchildren I will never meet. I have no explanation and certainly no pride in this totally unforeseen and inexplicable human tragedy.

Additionally, the loss of friends and loved ones now departed from this earth has left me far more fragile emotionally than I ever anticipated.

Despite clinging to the belief we will meet again and praying for that last miracle daily, I openly acknowledge the ongoing challenge of loneliness

Still I must admit to being intimidated by the winter weather and my friend is right, I resist help.

I loathe the need for a walker, cane or support of another’s arm. Yet it is true. I require one and sometimes all for mobility.

So undoubtedly, my astute friend was right. Pride comes in different packages.

Possibly, it is easier to reveal my emotional traumas than a loss of my physical ability.

And I will try to remember her wise words the next time I cancel a luncheon due to snow.

And hopefully, spring will come soon, and there will be no need to do that.