Listless Rebel

I am a rebel.  Well, OK, there are very few areas in my life where I actually get to rebel.  I go to bed at 10:00pm.  I will walk completely through the “people maze” at banks, even if there is nobody in line.  I don’t add extra salt to food when it really could use it, because like most things I would chose to eat, it isn’t good for me.  In my middle age opportunities to throw caution to the wind and act impulsively are few and far between.  So in what theater do I perform my acts of rebellion? That would be on the grand stage at the grocery store!

I have not brought a list to the grocery store in the better part of three years.  It is not that I know what I need, it is the ongoing delusion I have that I will “remember” what I need when I get to the store.  How’s that working out for me?  I have not had a bottle of ketchup to my name in three long months for my children to enjoy.  Why?  I never quite recall that item from my mental purchase list. Ketchup really falls into that category of things you never run out of like flour, and fake chocolate Easter candy. Thankfully I had the insight to never throw out any fast food ketchup packets that have made their way to my home.  Do they still give out ketchup packets when you order fast food?  I might add here the last time I went to a fast food “restaurant” my kids were in pre-school. I’m 100%, positive, give or take 75%, ketchup packets don’t go bad.  I can’t see how anything dangerous could penetrate the packets anyway, certainly teeth, knives and scissors don’t always get the job done in opening them.

Not taking a list does have some advantages: for example, 27 boxes of pasta I found the last time I cleaned out my pantry (but sadly only one jar of sauce) and the 5 boxes of scented kitchen garbage bags in three different places in my kitchen.  I am convinced beyond reason that I am in desperate need of these items each and every time I enter the grocery store. The internal dialogue each trip sounding something like this, “ I am pretty sure I didn’t get pasta the last time I was here.  I should at least pick up one.  Look they’re on sale 4 for $5.00, I’ll buy 4, you can never have enough pasta.” You can have too much pasta.  Thank goodness I have all those garbage bags to fill when it is time for the Thanksgiving drive at my children’s schools. 

The only time I ever write down what I need to buy at the grocery store is when I am assigned something to bring in for parties at my children’s school.  I am always the first to volunteer when parents are called on to send in donations.  I am not first mind you because of my generous spirit. I am first because I want to send out an email saying, “I’ll send the water.” Water is always on hand, like hotel soap, so I don’t actually have to go to the store and remember to buy it. Occasionally I will be asked (told) “Can you bring in mini cheese sticks?” That is when I write it down, stuff it in my purse, head to the store, grab milk, toilet paper, pasta, garbage bags, and butter before heading home.  “Mom, Where’s the cheese sticks?” Right. I’m sure the class would be better off with a nice scented garbage bag to clean up with anyway. See, rebel.