Woman, mom with cognitive impairment navigate 'new normal'

Early this spring, as the severity of the COVID-19 pandemic started coming into focus, Michelle Sutton of Highland asked her mother, Patricia Buckstrup of Poughkeepsie, if she wanted to temporarily change her living arrangement.

“Mom lives in a one-bedroom low-income senior apartment,” Sutton said. “In early March, before Governor Cuomo’s Stay-at-Home order was issued, I asked Mom if she wanted to stay in her apartment or come to our place. We live in a very small house, but we were open to figuring things out.”

But Buckstrup, who was recently diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI), opted to remain in her own place.

“Mom wanted to stay in her apartment where she has her privacy and her art supplies — she is a prolific painter. She wanted her things around her and friends her age close by,” Sutton said.

Fortunately, Sutton had already introduced her mother to some online assets that made the ensuing lockdown easier to live with.

“Before the Stay-at-Home order, I taught Mom to use Netflix and Zoom, two platforms that have been instrumental for her and my well-being,” Sutton said.

Months of socially distanced interactions and virtual experiences followed.

“I delivered groceries to her door, and we took a socially distanced walk together every week or so, but we spent more time together on Zoom than anything — visiting, participating in Alzheimer’s Association music and creativity programs and sampling The Great Courses through my library’s portal. She has found Netflix to be a revelation in all that it has to offer.”

Sutton said she and her mother particularly loved the Association’s virtual Something for Alz Creative Arts programs.

“Musical Moments with Tim and Creative Expression with Jayne have been wonderful. Tim and Jayne are extremely skilled, talented, gentle and kind-hearted. We are big fans. It’s also been incredibly rich to see other family members and get to know them over time,” Sutton said.

She said the two of them also enjoyed sessions at the Meeting of the Minds Virtual Dementia Conference, held in mid-June.

“David Hyde Pierce and Dr. Tia Powell were amazing. For me, the speaker I’ll remember most is Dr. Viviana DeCohen. As she related her experiences with caregiving of two family members with dementia, she was so real about the things that are hard — yet at the same time bringing the most awesome sense of humor to her vivid storytelling.”

Videos and more from the Meeting of the Minds can be viewed at AlzDementiaConference.org

Sutton said her mother’s diagnosis followed a concussion suffered while camping with her boyfriend in June 2017.

“Mom was very busy with her own life and her then-boyfriend. She and I saw each other regularly, but she was handling all her own affairs,” she recalled. “I observed to her that she seemed to get mentally worn out by her boyfriend and became increasingly anxious after spending time with him.”

The camping accident ultimately prompted her mother to break things off with the boyfriend, and the two of them started spending much more time together.

“It became apparent to us both that she needed increasingly more of my help,” Sutton said. “In the wake of the concussion, I noticed memory impairment, which did improve as she healed, but not fully. Another hit to her memory happened after she had surgery with general anesthesia in January 2018. The effects of that were also profound initially, but lessened somewhat with time.”

Buckstrup was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment in July 2018. It hasn’t been determined whether it is Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

Now as they continue navigating the new normal of the pandemic, Sutton said they appreciate the association’s help along the way.

“We are grateful for the opportunities the Alzheimer’s Association has provided and for the kindness and expertise of the staff. We are heartened to know that the Alzheimer’s Association is there to accompany us on our journey.”

About the Hudson Valley Chapter

The Hudson Valley Chapter serves families living with dementia in seven counties in New York, including Duchess, Orange, Putnam, Rockland, Sullivan, Ulster, and Westchester. To learn more about the programs and services offered locally, visit alz.org/hudsonvalley.

About the Alzheimer’s Association

The Alzheimer’s Association leads the way to end Alzheimer’s and all other dementia — by accelerating global research, driving risk reduction and early detection, and maximizing quality care and support. Its vision is a world without Alzheimer’s and all dementia. Visit alz.org.