Labor of Love: Caring for a Partner with Alzheimer’s

Expressing our love and reminiscing about shared experiences is what make Valentine’s Day such a special day for most couples. But, for those living with a partner who has Alzheimer’s disease, this holiday can be particularly sentimental and emotionally difficult.

“Looking forward to Valentine’s Day is bittersweet for me now. I tell my wife she doesn’t have to remember the good times; I will remember for both of us” said Charles Ovram.

Charles and Myrna Ovram have been married for 48 years, but for the last eight years, Myrna has been living with Alzheimer’s disease. While there are good days and bad days, Charles has willingly taken on the dual role of husband and full-time caregiver.

“Sometimes Myrna gets upset and feels bad because she can no longer give me the cards and flowers I still get for her on Valentine's Day. We had so many reasons to celebrate together, but now it is more one-sided” Charles remarked.

Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time for couples living with Alzheimer’s, but it can also be a reminder that their love for each other is still strong. “We still have so many reasons to celebrate together. There are days when Myrna is not here emotionally, but I’ll always be there for her,” said Charles.

Receiving an Alzheimer’s diagnosis is never easy. The Ovram’s have found comfort and solace attending caregiver and partner support groups hosted by the Alzheimer’s Association - NYC Chapter.

The Alzheimer’s Association offers tips for couples facing an Alzheimer’s diagnosis:

· Continue participating in as many activities as you can together, both old and new.

Adapt activities as needed to make them comfortable and enjoyable.

· Talk with your spouse or partner about what kind of help you would like from him or her now.

Also discuss what you can still do on your own.

· Work with your spouse or partner to put together information you may need later regarding caregiver services and costs.

Organize documents you may need into a file. When considering future services include housekeeping and respite (caregiver relief) care. Start your search for local services, resources and programs by using our online Community Resource Finder.

· Discuss any role changes in the relationship with a professional counselor or clergy member.

Include changes in your sexual feelings or ways of connecting.

· Explore our Caregiver Center website.

This is an online resource where your spouse or partner can learn more about caregiving issues and get tips.

· Attend early-stage and/or caregiver support groups through Alzheimer’s Association NYC Chapter.

Alzheimer's Association support programs provide people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias, their caregivers, families, and others affected by the disease with the opportunity to exchange information as they develop methods and skills to solve problems.

· Connect with others.

You and your spouse/partner can connect with others on our online message boards ALZConnected. Also, stay connected with family and friends.

About the Alzheimer's Association

Our mission is to eliminate Alzheimer's disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health. Our vision is a world without Alzheimer's. For more information on programs and services, visit the Alzheimer's Association at alz.org/nyc or call the 24/7 multi-lingual Helpline at 800-272-3900.