Parenthood Evolving

We parents will always have a role in our children's lives. But as children grow older we need to revise the role we play. They are in charge of their own lives and must make their own decisions. As the mother of two young adults. I think of myself as more of an adviser (that is when they ask for my advice, which is seldom, so sometimes I do them the favor of just offering it, much to their discomfort).

Late last summer, my husband and I were relaxing in front of the television on a Sunday evening. It was about 10 o'clock. My son had spent the day at the Jersey Shore with some friends and we had called him about an hour earlier to see if he was on his way home. It was raining quite hard out and we knew that the roads were getting bad. He had left his car in the Bronx and was traveling home with a friend but they were just entering the George Washington Bridge when my husband spoke to him. We figured he was now close to the house. Then the phone rang. "Hi dad, I have a dead battery. My friend tried to give it a boost but it didn't hold. Can you pick me up?"

Fortunately we have AAA service and my husband gave them a call. They said that they would send someone out to my son from the closest service station in the Bronx but they were greatly backed up and it could be a while. We weren't sure if the battery would take a boost since the first attempt already failed. My husband decided to begin traveling up to the Bronx.

He put on his baseball cap and waterproof jacket and disappeared into the darkness of the night. I tried to look out behind the screen door. The rain was being swept into my face and I had to close the door. I could barely see out of the window but the street light gave some illumination to the lone figure that stood next to our car. I could see my husband at the back of the car trying to jump over the stream of water that was gushing down the street. When he finally stepped off the curb, the water surrounded his legs until it covered both sneakers and socks and bathed his calves in wetness and street debris. I knew he was muttering under his breath and then the headlights came on and he drove off.

I went immediately to the phone, told my son that dad was on the way and to now please stay next to the car so the service could find him. His friend's sister had an apartment next to where the car was parked and they had stayed there to duck out of the rain. I then called AAA to see how their schedule was progressing. I was on hold for about 15 minutes when an operator finally came on. He explained that they were inundated with calls because of the weather but they expected to get service to my son in about 45 minutes. I understood their delay but I was not happy to hear of the long wait.

I called my son back to tell him to sit tight for awhile, when to my surprise, he told me that the service man was there already and he was able to get the car started! This was the best news of the night. My son was in the car and was starting to head back home. I said," Please drive carefully", as I always say and then hung up.

Now I would have to reach my poor husband who was probably almost in the Bronx. I did not want to call because I knew he was driving. The phone rang. My husband stopped on the side of the road to see how things were going. I am glad that he thought to do this. I told him the car was started and our son was on his way home. He told me that he would turn around after the bridge and head home also.

Around 45 minutes later my son walks in the door and five minutes later, my husband followed him in. Both were wet and tired but both were safe. That is all that mattered to me.

This was just another day in the life of a parent. As children grow their needs change and we as parents change with them. They become independent young adults but still need us now and then, especially on a rainy night when the car doesn't start.