Mood Maintenance Matters

Our attitude has a big impact on the way we feel about almost everything in our lives. When we face the day with an attitude of gratitude, we feel much happier about our relationships with others, our work life, our personal time and almost anything we approach in a day.

When we are filled with negativity, it is almost like we are wearing eye glasses that make everything look grey and gloomy. If we are bringing an attitude of anger, resentment or contempt to our daily activities, we will miss the little joys that we would ordinarily see if our attitude was positive, hopeful or grateful.

Did you know that negativity can be more contagious than the flu? Well, it can be. We’ve all had that experience when we have been in the presence of someone who is chronically angry or hostile. Sometimes that person – whether it is a family member, a spouse or a co-worker – will try to suck others into being as angry and resentful as he or she is. After all, misery loves company. But that is no way to live and can be poison to your well-being. Negativity can destroy relationships and make work environments or social events miserable, but you can choose to stay out of the negativity. It is as simple as making a decision to not engage in angry conversations or walk away from people who are trying to engage you in their negativity.

So how can you keep a positive attitude or maintain an attitude of gratitude? Luckily it’s not hard, but it may take a conscious effort in the beginning. Here are a few ways to get and stay positive:

• Make a conscious and purposeful effort to give yourself an attitude adjustment when you become aware that you are being negative. Choose to change how you approach people and activities.
• Be mindful  by checking in with yourself regularly throughout the day. Has your upbeat attitude started to shift to something like frustration or impatience?
• Ask people you trust and respect to give you a little signal if you seem to be defaulting to a negative attitude. Sometimes we don’t always know how we come across to others and seeking this feedback will help you maintain perspective.
• Keep a gratitude list. Every morning or before bed make an effort to write down 2-3 things that you are grateful for that day. You can do this in a journal or diary or just jot it down on your calendar. When you feel a negative attitude creeping in, go back and look at your gratitude list. Add an extra item or two if need be.
• “Act as if...”  Some days are harder than others, but you can “act as if” you are feeling fabulous.  After a while, you are bound to forget that you were tired or sad.  You won’t even need to “act” positive, you’ll be positive!
• Do something nice for someone else. This can be done in many forms and fashions, but I have found that random acts of kindness that are done when no one is looking can be the best ways to maintain a positive attitude and keep up on what I like to call “mood maintenance.”

Carly Borenkind is a licensed therapist since 2002. She specializes in treating people with serious and persistent mental illness, chemical dependency and Aspergers Syndrome. Carly currently serves as the Chief Compliance Officer for The Guidance Center of Westchester.

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