After Terrorist Attack, One Woman's Love Letter To London

MATTITUCK, NY — News of a deadly terror attack in London rocked the world Wednesday — and broke the heart of one local woman close to home.

Marissa Russo, who lives in Mattituck and works at the Westhampton Beach Performing Arts Center, just returned from a ten-day London trip on March 7, a trip she joyfully chronicled on social media, proclaiming her happiness to be back.

Since studying and living in London for three months in the fall of 2013, the city is the home of Russo's heart — and she spoke to Patch about what news of Wednesday's deadly terror attack meant.

"When I saw on Facebook that one of my friends was 'marked safe' in the attack on Westminster, my heart truly fell out of my body," she said. "Once I read what happened and started watching videos, I just felt empty. I was so incredibly upset, angry, and scared. Now that the initial shock is wearing off and I am able to process things, I just feel hurt. My body is truly aching for those who were injured or killed, those who had to witness what took place, those who are there working and saving lives, and for every person who is London right now."

When asked what London means to her, Russo said, "It’s so hard to say exactly. It seems silly to just say that it means 'everything' to me, but it really does. Studying abroad in London was the most incredible experience of my life, to put it simply."

London, she said, afforded Russo her independence.

"I’m an only child so independence has always been a character trait I’ve possessed, but this was first tested when I went away to college for the first time. When I moved into my flat in London knowing absolutely no one, my independence was kicked into high gear. And London is a city that promotes, invites, and accepts your independence in every way. I learned to enjoy the company of myself as I wandered through the parks. I felt confident enough to get on the train to Paris by myself or book an entire trip to another destination in Europe. I struggled a lot with this new feeling of independence and being alone, but I never felt truly alone because London is a city that is so inviting and warm. London also represents for me being fun and carefree. . . learning something new every day, exploring a new area, trying something new. London encouraged me to be spontaneous."

A self-described Type A personality who plan things out to the last detail, when she was in London, Russo said she seized the day and took advantage of score of spontaneous events and opportunities.

"When I left after my semester abroad, I could, with 100 percent certainty, call London a home," she said.

Returning to the North Fork meant leaving a piece of her heart in London, Russo said.

"The only way I can somewhat concisely describe my experience in London, both times, is from a song called 'My Heart is Split' by musical theatre writers Kerrigan and Lowdermilk. 'My heart is split, Between home and here, I’m cut in half, Two beds, two lives, and I live in between, My porch back at home and this strange new world I knit. My heart is split,'" she said.

An uptick in worldwide acts of terrorism leave Russo, like so many others, filled with dread.

"I feel sick. It makes me think that our world is spinning out of control. But today, especially, I just feel so hurt, so angry, and so sad. The first thing I could think about when I saw the images today was that my friends and I walked along the Westminster Bridge only two and a half weeks ago. I love London so much, and I just hate that it was attacked. In the way that people say they would do anything for someone they love, I feel like I would do anything for London. It feels like someone attacked a person I love."

"Pints will still be poured tonight. People will still get on the Tube tomorrow."

But the indomitable spirit of London will stand strong, she said.

"The British people are so optimistic and so full of life. I know the entire country and the entire UK will unite together and be strong for each other. But, I also know that London won’t stop being London. Pints will still be poured tonight. People will still get on the Tube tomorrow. They may be scared, but they won’t let such a hateful act tear their city down to nothing."

Russo said her first thoughts were for friends in London currently, studying abroad for a semester. "Thank God, they are okay," she said. "As soon as I heard what happened, I texted them and was so relieved when they responded immediately. It is a really scary time to be in London."

Sadly, Russo said the terror attacks may stop others from pursuing their travel dreams.

"I think so. I know many people who have chosen to not study abroad or travel abroad because of previous terror attacks. London will have a dark cloud over it for a time, and people will be scared to go. I know if my trip was occurring later in the year, my parents would have been very hesitant to see me go back. I would have been scared, too," she said.

But students shouldn't let fear paralyze them, she said.

"Young people need to travel. When I would give tours of my college, I would tell everyone that no matter what, you must study abroad. Whether it’s for a week, two weeks, a summer, a semester, a year, anything. It is the most life-changing, life-affirming and exhilarating time of your life. I really encourage any young people to not be afraid of world travel — don’t let these hateful acts stop you forever. Always travel with caution, be a smart traveler and do your research, but we can’t let these horrible people take this away from us."

As for Russo, she can't wait to head back to London, where her dreams have come true.

She said she will "never, ever" stop heading back across the pond.

"It’s so crazy because just last night, I said to someone, 'I never felt unsafe when I was in London.' And that’s true. Quite honestly, it seems like nowhere is safe anymore. But you can’t let that fear lock you into your home forever. I have to go back to London. I owe it to myself and I owe it to the city that gave me so much. I’m very grateful that I am home safe right now, but I’m still longing for London. I think when you love a city so much, you are always longing for it, regardless of the circumstances."

Photos courtesy of Marissa Russo, taken, on happier days, just steps from where Wednesday's deadly terror attacks occurred.