Devotion Sustains Couple Through Illness: 'Only Love Keeps You Going'

MATTITUCK, NY — The North Fork is opening its hearts to help a couple in need after a man's life-saving liver transplant.

Charlotte Smilovich of Mattituck created a GoFundMe page, "Help Steve Recover From His Liver Transplant" to help Stephen Flanigan, who has deep roots in the community.

Flanigan, she said, was recently the recipient of a liver transplant, "with only days left to live. It was a true Christmas miracle."

Her goal in creating the GoFundMe was to give the Flanigan family "six months to breathe, to recover. To not worry if they have gas in their car, to drive to his weekly doctor's visit to the city."

In addition to the transplant, recently, Flanigan's wife CeeCee was in a car crash and may need brain surgery.

"They really need our help," Smilovich said.

Beyond the GoFundMe, a fundraiser dinner will be organized after the holidays, she said.

Flanigan, she said, is a well-loved face on the North Fork, having graduated from Mattituck High School, where he played football.

"My husband Raymond and I are creating this Go Fund Me for our dear family friend of over 30 years," Smilovich wrote. "On Labor Day, 2019, Steve was diagnosed with the same genetic liver disease that claimed his mother Judith at the young age of 57. Ironically, this is the same age as Steve today."

On October 26, Steve had his transplant and unfortunately, cannot work, and neither can his wife, as she is his primary caregiver, Smilovich said.

Speaking with Patch, Steve and CeeCee described their journey — and also, a love strong enough to sustain any storm.

CeeCee described the fear she experienced as she saw her husband fade literally before her: "The doctor said he had days to live." With thousands waiting for a transplant, the couple is blessed and lucky that he was given his second chance, she said.

Together for 17 years, the couple met through a dating site. "I was 42 and didn't want to be by myself," CeeCee said. "I was looking for the guy I wanted to live with for the rest of my life. I'd have over 80 dates, and never had a second date with any of them. When I matched with my husband, I went home and canceled every membership. When you know, you know."

That certain love that drew that together proved to be a buoy as they navigated the turbulent years, praying for answers as Steve's health challenges mounted.

The road leading to the gift of life was turbulent. In 2015, Steve was scheduled for surgery to remove his gall bladder, but because his platelet count was low, the surgery could not undergo the procedure. He began seeing a hematologist but the underlying cause of his illness remained undiagnosed.

On Labor Day weekend in 2019, Steve began exhibiting confusion, CeeCee said. "He didn't know his own name, nothing," she said. "I thought to myself, 'He's never going to come back from this.'"

Finally, he was diagnosed with nonalcoholic fatty liver disease; his condition was so far advanced that dietary changes and other treatment did not help, she said. His liver was badly scarred, she said.

"For three years, I lost my husband," CeeCee said. "That confusion was always there. It changed his personality. He wasn't the same person. You couldn't talk to him. He got annoyed, he was aggressive. This wasn't my husband — my husband is a sweetheart."

Last year, in April, Steve was diagnosed with cirrhosis, CeeCee said. "My husband was a dead person walking — all yellow, so skinny, his belly was so big. He had no energy. He couldn't even communicate with you."

In and out of the hospital, Steve was prescribed antibiotics until finally, a doctor cultured his bacteria and treated him for what turned out to be a serious infection. "They saved his life," she said.

At the time he was struggling with his own health, Steve's father, whom he'd cared for during the past 10 years, died — while he was in the hospital. The grief was a blanket that weighed heavy.

In October, CeeCee once again had to call 911 because Steve's confusion had worsened. When he got back home, the call they'd been waiting for came — a match had been found. But sadly, Steve tested positive for COVID, and he couldn't get the liver; CeeCee also tested positive for the coronavirus.

Later, on October 25, the call came that changed their lives forever: A match was found — and just in time.

"The doctor said he'd never seen a liver in such bad condition," CeeCee said. "It took five hours to remove his liver and put the new one in."

But then, sweet relief was realized, when her husband's new liver began working immediately, CeeCee said. "It was so magical."

His recovery was rapid; he only needed a walker and cane for about three weeks, while it takes some people months.

"He's so strong. His mind is back, 100 percent," she said. "I realized I was getting back the guy I fell in love with. Now, every day, I'm telling him how wonderful it is, to get him back. I just love that guy so much."

It's entirely mutual, both agree.

"It's only the love that keeps you going," CeeCee said.

While they now live in Riverhead, Steve was from Mattituck and the couple lived for some time in Cutchogue. His family owned the former Nobb Hill restaurant, now the Vineyards at Aquebogue.

Describing his journey, Steve said: "It's been quite an adventure, let me tell you. It definitely had its ups and downs. I feel like asked Santa Claus for a new liver for Christmas a long time ago and he delivered."

Becoming serious, he said: "Obviously, I gave it up to God."

While it was disheartening not to be able to accept the first offer of a liver, a few weeks later, that second offer came.

"Everything happens for a reason," Steve said. "I guess this was my time."

His universe has shifted since the transplant, Steve said.

"It’s like a second life. You go through a lot of changes when you're confronted with this reality — you certainly look at things through a different lens. This changed me in every way, physically, emotionally. It made me a better person."

Being unable to work is difficult for Steve, who once owned a sheet metal company, then, with his wife, saw success in real estate. Most recently, he was set to begin a new chapter in trading foreign currency, until he was sidelined by illness.

"I was in the hospital all last year," he said. Describing the paracentesis, when the fluid was drained and the serious infection was detected, he said he was critically ill.

"If I hadn't received my new liver, we wouldn't be talking right now," he said. "We didn't know it was that bad."

Prayer helped, Steve said; his brother is a preacher and was beside him during those dark months, as was his son.

Of CeeCee, Steve said: "She's just amazing. She just surprised the heck out of me. Man, I knew she was strong, but she really stepped up. I wouldn't be here without her."

And, Steve thanked God for his recovery. "I just turned it over to God and said, 'To be honest, it's way past me. It's in your hands now. Do as you wish.' Ultimately, he makes the final decision about everything."

While he was never the most religious person before, now he's suffused with gratitude.

He's also thankful for his hometown, where so many have opened hearts to help. "I've always tried to be that person that gives a guy a break, buys him lunch, helps him out. That was always my nature. It just makes you feel good when you can help someone. What goes around, comes around; now people are helping me. And when I'm back on my feet again, don't think I won't be returning the favor in a big way."

"Steve and his wife have been quietly battling this disease because Steve never wanted to be a burden to anyone," Smilovich wrote. "If you know Steve, you know he’s always been there for anyone in their time of need. The next six to 12 months are critical for his recuperation, so my husband and I convinced him to allow us to create this fundraiser in hopes of alleviating any financial pressure so Steve and Ceecee can focus on his recovery. We would love to show Steve we are here for him in his time of need, just like he’s always been there for anyone in their time of need."

To donate to the GoFundMe, click here.

GoFundMe is a Patch promotional partner.