Mom, Daughter Who Lost Dad Host Yard Sale To Raise Funds For Move

ORIENT, NY — A mother and daughter, who live in Orient Point, were plunged into a world of grief after the loss of a devoted father in February — and that profound tragedy was compounded when they learned they'd have to move from the home they loved.

Jennifer Sickler and her daughter Abby Whittington, 15, were shattered when Ethan Whittington died suddenly after a brief battle with cancer.

And now, with just weeks to go before they have to face an uncertain future, and no new rental found yet, they're hosting a yard sale this weekend to raise funds to bolster them as they begin the next chapter in their journey.

Sickler said the yard sale takes place Saturday and Sunday at their home, located at 34625 Old Main Road in Orient, from 8 a.m. to 3 pm.

Speaking with Patch, Sickler said although they have to move from their rental, the goal is to keep Abby in the school district she loves and where she is thriving. "We are hoping to stay local in the Greenport School District, so as not to displace Abby — who has already experienced so much change," she said.

But like so many, Sickler is searching a North Fork rental market that's dissipated in recent years.

"Due to seasonal inflation and loss of Ethan's income, everything I see is unaffordable and requires me to downsize to a one-bedroom," she said. Which might be doable when I downsize."

Hence, the yard sale, she said. Sickler said all items at the sale will be sold by donation. "I came up with the idea for people to 'pay what you think is fair,'" she said. "After months of trying to put this together, prematurely having to go through all of Ethan's things and not even being able to properly mourn, I am simply exhausted. . . At this point, I just need to lighten my load and fund my move."

Sickler said the sale will be filled with 17 years of memories, the contents of their home. "I've been at this by myself for months and hope for this to be a financial success and lighten the load a bit," she said.

A GoFundMe page, "Help For The Family of Ethan Whittington," was created by Lisa Craven and is still active, also, to help.

"Abby Whittington, 15, recently suffered the sudden loss of her father Ethan after a brief battle with cancer," Craven wrote. "She and her mother Jennifer Sickler are facing a difficult road ahead as they deal with this loss and try to cover expenses and secure housing so Abby can continue school in her current district."

Abby, Craven added, "is a remarkable student, she is on the high honor roll, and she is proactive in her school clubs and activities. Ethan and Jen have made every sacrifice together for Abby to remain in her current district."

Whittington worked at the Greenport location of Riverhead Building Supply for the past 16 years and was a familiar face on the North Fork canvas, well-loved by many.

"Jen may be known to many in her community for her work at Trumans Beach in East Marion and at the Orient Country Store," Craven said. "Due to Ethan's untimely death, Abby and Jen have an immediate need for unplanned expenses. Please consider donating any amount to help Abby and Jen through this tragic time."

Sickler said Whittington died Feb. 5 after a brief illness and cancer.

"Abby and I were by his side to send him off. We sang to him, comforted and reassured him," she said. "I told him 'The Story of Us', the way we first fell in love, and then later, about when we brought our daughter into the world. I just kept talking and telling the stories that I knew he would love."

Although they never married, Sickler said: "Ethan and I were partners in the greatest endeavor of one’s life, raising our beautiful girl, Abby. Ethan was a wonderful father to Abby and she was unequivocally the joy of his life. The loss of a parent for a child must truly be the scariest thing that could happen."

At 15, Abby is emotionally mature and wise beyond her years, her mother said.

"I am floored by her insights about life, death, and this unexpected turn that our journey has taken. She has been described by one of her teachers as a 'bright star' even in the midst of this challenge. She plans to go into the field of psychology, which she is perfectly fitted for," she said.

Along with the pain of losing Whittington, who was devoted to his daughter, Sickler is desperate to keep her daughter in the school district she loves; hopefully, through graduation from Greenport High School.

"This unexpected tragedy hits from all angles. Without a will prepared, I have been left in a financially precarious situation, all while trying to remain strong and walk through the many stages of grief, now and to come. Ethan and my shared goal was to have Abby finish all four years of high school without interruption, but sadly, that may not happen," Sickler said.

Reflecting on the sudden, life-altering loss, Sickler said Whittington hadn't felt well in recent months; his stomach became distended, and she worried. One day, he called her from work and said he had to go to the emergency room, that he was in tremendous pain.

"I was in Riverhead but I turned around and rushed to where he worked," she said. "He could barely move. I had to get a wheelchair to push him into the ER."

He was later moved to Stony Brook University Hospital, she said. Struggling with a massive kidney infection and his liver failing, in a heartbeat, he seemed to age overnight, his voice that of an older man, she said. Whittington was intubated, Sickler said. "Things just went downhill from there," she said.

Soon, doctors told them that he had Stage IV esophageal and stomach cancer.

He died just two weeks after he was first hospitalized Jan. 19.

"He didn’t know he had cancer," Sicker said. "He thought he had a hernia."

And in days, hours, the news went from possible dialysis, or a liver transplant, to those no longer being options.

"He was told his cancer was too advanced, we weren't able to do anything surgically," she said. "He had no chance."

When the last, heartbreaking day came, Sickler said: "I told him not to be afraid. I told him I wanted him to know his mom and dad and friends were downstairs. I told him, 'Everyone is here, with you,'" she said. "Abby and I sang to him, his favorite songs. I had my hand on his wrist and I could feel his heart beating. It got slower and slower, and then he took his last breath. I kept trying to reassure him that he was safe and that his angels were with him, surrounding him, and were going to protect him."

Speaking with Patch about her father, Abby said, "My father had a sweet and caring presence. He was always there for me when I needed him. We enjoyed watching TV and funny YouTube videos together. We loved to hike and hunt for animal bones. He had a great sense of humor, and we shared many inside jokes together. He also loved playing practical jokes and pranks whenever he could. I will miss him dearly but I know he is always in my heart."

And now, Sickler is finding her way forward, trying, through the blanket of grief, to ensure that her daughter is surrounded by all that she knows and loves in the difficult days ahead without her dad.

What the future holds is uncertain, Sickler said.

"My father was a minister. I'm a preacher's kid," Sickler said. "While I'm not extremely religious, I'm extremely spiritual. This situation with housing insecurity has made it so now, I feel like I can't breathe."

Her hope is that the plan will allow her girl to finish up high school in the place where she excels academically and is known as a "little activist," helping to organize a walkout to support a teacher.

Sickler is grateful for an outpouring of caring from those who've stepped forward to comfort and guide.

"I am so grateful, just so filled with gratitude for those who reached out to help," she said.

To help Sickler and Abby, the yard sale takes place this weekend; to donate to the GoFundMe, click here.