Supporters Sign on to Shave Heads for Sweet Sam, Fight Childhood Cancer

NORTH FORK: They’re doing it for Sam.

Ever since word has spread about an upcoming fundraiser for Samuel Duffy, 5, who lives in Greenport and was diagnosed last year with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, friends and neighbors are lining up to shave their heads as a way of raising money and awareness about childhood cancers.

Sam’s mother, Holly Lanzetta, has embarked on a mission to create the “Sam’s Heroes” team, under the auspices of the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, to conquer childhood cancers.

The community is coming together to help with the fundraiser for Sam’s Heroes, which will be held on March 26 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at First and South in Greenport.

The event is a “Shave-A-Thon”; Lanzetta and others plan to shave their heads to raise funding for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation and Sam’s Heroes.

Supporters are excited to take the challenge: “Shaving my head doesn’t scare me. Cancer scares me,” said Chris Dowling, owner of One Love Beach. ”I can’t imagine what it is like to be a child and have to deal with it. As a parent I would never want to see my child suffering through the treatments. Never knowing what the final outcome will be. It has to be hell. Shaving my head is the least I can do. If it puts a smile on Sam’s face, then it is worth it. If it raises money that goes toward finding a cure or at least less invasive treatments, then it is worth never having my hair return.”

Greenport resident Chatty Allen didn’t hesitate. “When I first heard of the Shave-a-thon, I said, ‘Sure, I’ll do it’. The reason I said that was because of Sam. Once I made the decision, it has been positive feedback. It has turned into a teaching and learning experience.”

Children and adults facing cancer aren’t given the choice of losing their hair, Allen said. “I am willingly going bald in solidarity. One thing I keep saying is, ‘Your hair is not who you are.’ Once I no longer have hair, I will still be the same person on the inside.”

Allen said she’s not only trying to raise funds, but also, open eyes and share knowledge. “I do not plan on buying a wig. My decision to shave my head is to raise money and awareness for children’s cancers — as well as adult cancers. ”

Greenport artist Alexa Suess is also shaving her head: “I’ve known Holly since before Sam was born and learned of his diagnosis shortly after it was given. Sam is one of the bravest kids I know and has taken his treatment in stride with smiles and superhero capes. Hair is trivial to me; it’ll grow back. But anything that has the potential to expedite Sam’s recovery and make him feel more like a superhero —that matters the most. I’m very excited for the Shave-a-thon at First and South and I would love to see a lot of people get involved — even if it means keeping their hair and simply donating.”

So far, 10 have signed on, with many lining up.

Sam’s mom, Holly Lanzetta, recently created a Sam’s Heroes Facebook page. One post is dedicated to her thoughts on the event: “I will not be wearing a wig. I’m not even sure how often I will wear a scarf or hat. I have recently been very moved emotionally in conversations with adult cancer survivors who have found it alarming, and perhaps disturbed by the ease of the shavees who have little issue with the loss of hair. I respect the pain they have gone through, and by shaving I most certainly do not wish to offend or dismiss their loss. It is a blatant recognizable flag that indicates your whole life has been changed by cancer, and it is painful in that respect.”

But, Lanzetta added, “Our society markets our hair as a major source of beauty, and it can be beautiful. But seriously, when I go to the cancer center and see the first and second grade girls who are so distressed — boy, do I mean distressed — by the fear of not being beautiful because they lose their hair, so fearing their friends won’t see their beauty, It is heartbreaking.“

In recent years, she said, “there have been models that are beginning to rock at least a very close shaven look, but we need more representation on the street, in our neighborhoods, our communities, to show girls and boys that hair does not always equate to beauty. And that there is no shame in having cancer, or supporting those who do. I want to walk proudly and represent to these young kids, men and women, that I am not embarrassed, or fearful, and that yes, I am bald, getting closer to 50, have circles under my eyes most days, am overweight, have cellulite, wear little makeup and I am beautiful.”

A mother’s mission

March 28 will mark one year since Sam was diagnosed, Lanzetta said. “About five weeks before that, he said, ‘Mom, I have pain between my shoulder blades.’ I thought, ‘What 4-year-old kid has a back that hurts?’”

At first, Lanzetta thought maybe Sam has hurt himself wrestling with her older son, Troy Lanzetta, 15, but doctors could find no knots in his back.

Soon, her little boy started saying he didn’t want to go to gymnastics, and became pale and tired, wanting to nap every day, even though he’d stopped napping years earlier.

One day, when Sam came home after gymnastics and asked to sleep on the couch, and go to bed right way at 6 p.m., Lanzetta was frightened. “I said, ‘Okay, something is wrong.’”

She made a doctor’s appointment for that Saturday and found herself with broken windshield wipers as snow fell. A friend drove her to the physician’s office, just as Sam started spiking a fever.

The pediatrician immediately confirmed that something was gravely wrong: “She told us to go to Stony Brook right way. At first, we were fearful that it was meningitis.”

And then, Lanzetta was hit with the diagnosis that no mother should ever have to bear: Her son had leukemia.

“It was definitely a life changer,” she said.

Lanzetta, a single mom born in Richmond, Virginia, lived in East Quogue —her older son still attends Westhampton Beach High School — before settling in Greenport about three years ago. Earlier, she’d lived in Greenport briefly and worked at the North Fork Learning Center.

The journey since her son’s diagnosis has not been easy, Lanzetta said. “It’s lonely, that’s the number one thing. I’m a lucky one, in that Sam’s in remission right now, but that doesn’t mean he’s cancer free.”

Because she’s been unable to work since she’s been caring for her little boy, Lanzetta’s “budget has changed drastically.”

A community comes together

Thankfully, she said, the North Fork has opened its arms to embrace her, with Community Action of Southold Town, the village’s housing department and the food pantry at the North Fork Parish Outreach helping to put meals on the table. Local churches, including St. Peter’s Lutheran Church and the First Baptist Church of Greenport, have also helped, she said.

Neighbors have also helped with furniture, food, toys, gas cards, and so much support. “The Opportunity Shop helped Sam get his dream bed for Christmas,” she wrote, adding that the Martilottas and Greenport students raised funding to provide immediate financial support when he was diagnosed.

Although her son seems to look well right now — he lost his hair, but it’s growing back — Lanzetta said “the treatments are just horrible” causing cognitive issues and “lifelong damage. But it’s keeping him alive.”

And the success rate, with one in five children not surviving their battle, “is not guaranteed,” she said.

Chemotherapy has caused changes to her son’s brain that are unpredictable and life-altering, she said, leaving him a child with special needs. The treatment regime for boys is three-and-a-half years, she said; her son receives chemo at home and in the hospital, she said, as well as many spinal taps.

But despite the challenges, Lanzetta said Sam’s sunny disposition shines through. “He’s got a great attitude,” she said. “He’s unbelievable.”

While Sam has toys, he also has ”a thousand costumes. He’s always dressing up, whenever he can,” Lanzetta said, laughing. “He loves to be Batman, he used to ride his bike as Iron Man — that’s why I named the group ’Sam’s Heroes.’”

Her goal, Lanzetta said, is to raise funding to change the treatment of childhood cancers. “Those treatments are currently the last on the list to get funded.” she said. “Only four percent of all cancer funding goes to children.”

Currently, her son is enrolled in a St. Baldrick’s study, she said.

Treatment for childhood cancers

Pink ribbons are easily recognized as the symbol for breast cancer awareness, Lanzetta said. “But nobody knows goal is the color for childhood cancer. How come the Empire State Building is lighted up in gold for the Grammys, but not childhood cancer? Because nobody knows.”

On her caringbridge page, Lanzetta speaks honestly about facing a mother’s greatest fear. “If I said he was great, it’s not true, and if I said he wasn’t doing well, that’s not true, either. . . Sam is doing very well for a boy in treatment for leukemia who is presently in remission, and I am so grateful to say that. I also know that remission is not equal to cancer free, and I don’t forget that for one minute. However, life hustles and bustles along, and I don’t sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop. I won’t. I am actively trying to get Sam ready for school, to make sure he will have all the support he needs, as he is considered special needs now. Not because he has an immune system issue. No, it’s the treatments. The treatments make changes, cognitively.”

She added that Sam’s doctor’s feel positive about his progress and are clearing him for pre-school soon.

And now, Lanzetta has teamed up with the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, ”to help in some way to make this better, for me, for Sam, and for the future families that will face this new way of life. I have started a St. Baldrick’s head shaving event in my lovely town of Greenport, to raise awareness and fund research for kids’ cancer.”

She made the decision after feeling fury about the “toxic chemotherapies” that make her little boy’s body ache, kill his taste buds, make it painful to walk, and can cause lifelong damage such as infertility, heart problems and even, potentially, secondary cancers down the line.

“I give him these pills daily. Knowing I cause this damage, for the sake of keeping him alive today — I can’t sleep at night with this fact, anymore, unless I do something to make this better,” she wrote. “Sam is a lucky one. Several of his friends have a much more difficult time with treatment, and he knows it. So, I told Sam that I could raise money by shaving my head. I could help St. Baldrick’s fund better ways to fight cancer for his friends, and perhaps it could help him as well. Sam is already enrolled in a cancer study funded by St. Baldrick’s, because others also cared before us. Know what he said? ’Well, then, it’s the right thing to do, right? It’s just hair, and doesn’t it grow back like mine did?’ Exactly.”

She added, “Now, not everyone wants to shave their head. I get it. However, I would ask those who can to support my going bald, to make this slice of hell a little easier to bear. Sam and his friends need heroes. Please join us. Who knows, I might even get a tattoo on the back of my head. No promises. If you can’t make it, please consider donating to my site online.”

Lanzetta said although her son loves superheroes — The Make a Wish Foundation did a superhero walk in his honor last year — the name “Sam’s Heroes” really came from the desire for Sam to see other heroes in his community and beyond, people who care about him and his wish to get help with cancer treatments for his friends.

“So many have helped us, as we have no family around, and they are ’Sam’s Heroes,’” she said.

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