How can we protect our children?

If you are anything like me, the news has become something to avoid.  Between the kidnappings, the  predators and the violence, I find my self asking- How can I keep my children safe?  Couple that with the statistic that one in three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 and you may feel an urgent need to make sure your children are best equipped to prevent this situation.

  One resource I have come across is Parent's For Megan's Law.  This organization unites the community against the threat of predators and provides resources should they encounter them.  Megan's Law was adopted by New York State in 1995 after Megan Kanka was killed by her neighbor, a registered offender. It is intended to release information to the public about any predators who have moved into the area.  At the time the law was instituted many states were not sure about how to address the growing need to educate parents and the public and many times kept the information under wraps. Enter Parents for Megan's Law, a non-profit started by Laura Ahern, who was attempting to navigate the laws to keep her children safe.  It was almost impossible for her to get the information about the predators she needed.  She found that the public felt that they would be notified if a predator moved in to the neighborhood.  This was NOT the case in each state.

This program focuses on many facets of the Law, including notification and resources for victims if there is an occurrence of molestation or rape. However, they also advocate prevention, which as a parent, I am highly in favor of.

To educate your children, there are some conversations that you can have to help them think about the boundaries and roles people in their life play. Many parents think that if they are warning their children about "strangers," they have done their job in prevention.  However, as Parents for Megan's Law reports, the majority (90%) of assaults on children are perpetrated by someone they already know.  These people groom not only the children, but many times the families in which they attempt to find a weakness.   There are many "tricks" which Parents for Megan's Law has found predators use to lure their prey in.  (See their website for details)Here are some ways to combat this in your home:

1. SET BOUNDARIES! Continually defining what role each adult has in your child's life will help keep your child safe.  For instance, you can ask your child, "What is Coach Bob's job?" Listen to your child's response.  You can throw in random references, such as, is it his job to do your homework with you?  Is it his job to help you change your clothes, etc.  Define what you feel is appropriate.  This will be an ongoing conversation as your child grows and new people enter his life.  
2. Teach your children to trust their inner voice.  Follow your instincts as well. Be a role model for your children, if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.  I taught in a school where my fifth grade girls came to me about a substitute teacher that was "staring at their chests" that made them uncomfortable.  Something about him had really bothered me as well, but I had dismissed it until this incident.  I went to my administration and luckily they listened. We never asked the sub back, however, five months later, he was arrested and on the cover of Newsday for molesting children.  I am so glad that I listened to my gut as well as the reports from my students.  At the same time, it just shows you that our children are exposed to predators even though we would like to  deny it.

3. There are many red flags that you have to watch for according to Parents for Megan's Law.  Some of these include someone who continually crosses boundaries, who shows more interest in your child than you, someone who constantly offers to watch your children, makes inappropriate comments about your child's appearance or inquires about their sexuality, someone who finds excuses to touch, cuddle, tickle children etc.  There are many more red flags that can be found at ParentsforMegansLaw.org.

4. Know the Safety Rules. Some examples of these are: know where you live and your phone number, what to do if you get lost in a store, identify being able to body parts, keep no secrets, not being too polite and taking action if you feel something is not right.

Our children are our most precious asset. I know we want only the best for them. It's time we start talking about this in a responsible way that can help our children prevent this travesty!
For more information email Tania_morris@yahoo.com