One Down, Eleven to Go, Time is Moving, But What About Those Resolutions?

January first, many people across the world had resolved to make changes in their lives. The tradition of starting off the new year with positive intensions seems as traditional as the champagne toast at midnight.  If you are like most people those resolutions were forgotten or abandoned in the first half of January.  This happens not because people don't want to improve their situations or themselves, it happens because making life changes takes some preparations and planning.

Did you know that research has identified six major stages in the process of change? Three of the stages need to happen before the action stage can can successfully take place.  If a person doesn't prepare for making a change in a productive way then it not surprising that resolutions to loose weight or stop smoking made on New Year's Day are not attained. Let's step back and look at the process and see the stages that take place before the action stage.

1. The Precontemplation Stage is often characterized as others seeing a problem while the person with the issue is in denial about it and sees no need to make a change.  A precontemplator might make changes with much external pressure, but they tend to go back to the old pattern of behavior once the pressure is off.  The defense mechanisms often in play here with the denial is blaming outside factors for the problem and holding on to the belief that they have no control over what is happening.

2. In the Contemplation Stage the person is tired of having the issue or feeling the burden of the behavior.  People at this stage feel like they can start to make the change, but usually put the change off to a future date.  They admit that there is an issue to be dealt with, and they understand there is a problem, yet they are not willing to commit to making the change.  It is during this stage that people may start to define their own goals rather that have others set goals for them and they are becoming ready to prepare to make life changes.

3. The Preparation Stage people have already made the commitment  to work on the issue, though there still may be some ambivalence about starting to work on changing. That is understandable since most of us do not like to give up familiar behaviors even if they are having an adverse effect on our health and relationships.  The person in this stage is ready to make their commitment to change public by letting friends and family know they will be working on the issue.

4. The Action Stage is the one that is most noticeable to other people and the change activity is actually taking place.  This stage requires strong commitment, after all the person is no longer thinking about the change and what needs to happen to make the change, the person is doing the work of changing the behavior, habit or issue.

It helps at this point for the person to use healthy self-soothing behavior to handle the feelings of loss they may experience over no longer smoking for example. Learning to relax and reduce stress is helpful, as well and seeking support from friends, loved ones or getting professional help.

Once changes have been successfully made, the focus will then shift to maintaing those positive changes, which will be the focus of my next blog entry.  Till then, be well.