Hey You Genie.....

Hey you genie…get back in that bottle!

“That’s all I have to say about that” F. Gump, American philosopher

                We all look around and see stuff we think could be done better, and I am no exception. We are all at some point born editors. Our supposed “field of expertise” may vary, but we still see things we are absolutely certain we know a way to improve. From music to movies, recipes (a particular favourite of mine) fashion and everything in between, we just know we can improve it. The really infuriating part to me is, that in many cases, we actually did have it right already, and we got away from it. Rather go into all of the palaver about politics (a subject I am no longer speaking on) and everything else, I would like to address in this first chapter something that seems to occupy lots of time, cause lots of arguments. I am referring of course, to sport. Those of you not at all interested in this subject, please feel free to wait in the lobby and I shall be out in relatively short order to tackle other things that will (hopefully) interest you. Thank you.

                A great deal of what precipitated this was seeing the ratings for the Stanley Cup Final. They we some of the highest in quite some time, and I don’t think it’s just because it was NY/LA. If the high ratings were for baseball and basketball maybe, but there’s no deep history here. All of the games, (save 1) were close, and low scoring. But the commissioners of all of the major sports keep insisting that the fans want more scoring. In my experience, I have found the opposite to be true, at least with real fans (I say with no small bit of pomposity!) I’m not talking about the band-wagoneers, those people that suddenly realise they have a hometown team when the team starts making a run, a phenomenon I first noticed with the ’86 Mets. I actually felt bad for the long-time Mets’ fans, because these yabbos were snapping up tickets away from the long timers.  It has repeated itself many times since then, but that was where I first noticed it. So what I’m getting at is, it seems that Messers. Bettman, Selig, Goodell, and whatever the guy that runs the NBA is called…are catering more to this type of “fan”. Juiced baseballs, extended seasons (18 games? Really Roger? Do we now want the NFL till last until Draft Day perhaps? ) Interleague play, and the bane of all sports….instant replay seem to be nothing more than marketing ploys. And the thing is…they aren’t needed. This isn’t meant as an “uphill, both ways” thingy, but if those powers that be would maybe look back for something to excite the crowds, they might just find it. Allow me, if you please: (I will be bouncing between games here at points)

1)       Interleague Play; I used to love the debates of who was better, the National or American League. The All-Star Game kind of helped, and The World Series, ostensibly the best from each league against each other, was another good way to tell. I thought it was a bad idea, even on the limited basis it first came in, but now, all season long. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think it’s a pretty fair statement to say that most Yankee fans don’t want The Yankees’ pennant chances cocked up by say…The Cincinnati Reds or worse. I know it’ll be hard to lose an exciting matchup like the Padres/Rays or Braves/Royals, but we’ll get over it. I feel the same about interleague in the NFL too.

2)       Instant Replay; to crib a phrase from my dear friend Stephen Brady, I hate it like poison. Listen, this is a game played by humans watched by humans and officiated by humans. In a bit of shocking news, we humans are not perfect. And that’s okay. If you want perfection…play a video game. Me…I would rather debate about The Immaculate Reception, Jackie Robinson’s steal of home, and all the rest of it. If you need/crave/want perfection…play a video game.

3)       More Runs! Or points…or goals…codswallop. I say again, one of the best baseball games I ever saw was a few years ago, Yanks/Sawx…I think it  went 14 innings and ended 1-0 on a HR in the bottom of that frame. Every hitter, every pitch mattered.

4)       When will it end; The NFL is finished just in time for spring training, and baseball runs into November now. This is asinine. Aside from The NFL extending the season and having that ridiculous “bye-week”, the real issue here is playoffs. When I was younger, my non-hockey fan friends you to goof on me, saying that everyone in the league makes the playoffs. Well, I guess the “business model” must be appealing; there are multiple “wild-cards” in every sport. All the series in The NHL are 7 games…why? It’s a gruelling season to begin with. This is why there are no more dynasties. Well that and….

5)       Parity/Salary Cap; I realise that America is the land of opportunity and all of that, but it seems to me a pretty poor way to run a sports league. I don’t know about you, but I loved having a team to “hate”…The 1970’s Steelers (fare thee well, Chuck Noll by the way), Joe Montana’s  49’ers, The Montreal Canadians and Dallas Cowboys…always! Just like I know how much the rest of the country hated the Yankees. And that’s okay. But to discourage this, by means of revenue sharing, salary caps and anything else is foolish. And it isn’t for “the good of the league”. The only one that benefitted from revenue sharing in the Pirates organisation, which was devised to help “small market” (another fallacy) teams compete…was the owner.

Anyway, let me stop this before it gets (further?) out of hand. I guess my point is that all of the so-called improvements made to the various sports have, to me, had the exact opposite effect. 

Next, I’ll take on some more wide ranging stuff, so to all of you non-sports fans, thank you for your patience.