from JWG’s Personal Galaxy November 15, 2013

from JWG’s Personal Galaxy

Zwerglipatch  Friday, November 15, 2013  6:54 a.m. EST

Earlier this week, I received a phone call from Chris Scarpati of The Network for GLBT people here on Long Island. I let The Network know of my intention to leave it a gift when I die. This is important to me for the GLBT Community may be seasoned, it is still new in the face of society. We must network as out and proud and shun prejudice. My feeling is that this will take decades. I wish I could be around to see normality in acceptance. Today, I am hopeful.

Chris’ heartfelt thanks for my concern was welcomed. He asked if I had any questions. After blubbering around in my head for a question, I said I did not. I did express how we are now at an age where many of the events at their centers do not interest us and how some occur in working hours and we still have to work. I realized that René and I are in an in-between age. We are mature members who are content at being home. We like people. We like to mix. We’d adore taking tango lessons with other same-sex couples; yet, this is not a priority. It does seem we are in the suburbs of Manhattan and there should be enough of us who no longer seek the din of clubs; we wish for the comfort of quiet companions. A café to go to and listen to quiet music, poetry, performance. We do miss Manhattan and all it has.

Last week, we were in Manhattan. We went to see Muhly’s “Two Boys” at The Metropolitan Opera. We reminisced how after a performance thirty years ago, a woman, who was a subscriber, told the two of us, who were subscribers, that “It is good to see young people here in the house.” We said, “Thank you,” and giggled for at thirty years of age, we did not feel “Young”, but, in The Met audience, we were, indeed, young. We are now part of the seasoned opera-goer set. We laughed how we never expected to attend an opera at The Met written, rather, composed by a man younger than when we first met. Yes, Time does roll on and on.

Thirty years ago, we never thought that we would be married. LGBT Centers were only in the big cities. It is great to have them in the suburbs. They need to be in small towns as well. Is there a plan to bring comfort to those who live alone? Fortunately, today’s technology makes this Country and World small. The internet makes accessibility to reach-out groups easier. However, one has to be “out”, to be comfortable, to do this.

Here, on Long Island, we have friends who obviously are not as comfortable as they appear to be. If one looks at their FaceBook pages, for example, one would never know they are in a long-term relationship. For me, this is closeted. I would like to see the light of recognizant demeanors within them. What do they fear?

Others do not wish their fellow church-members to know they are gay or bisexual. Why do they fear those who claim they live by the words of Jesus? Yes, I know, the supposed “Christians” do not get the point of why Jesus walked this planet. This is all, too, too bad. I wish the hate religions promote would dissipate.

I now have lived a full sixty years. I now have two things, no, three things that people deem important: a home, money, and love. Of those three, the one I can share is Money. My Aloha — Love — is steady and worth more than Money. My Home contains my physical Love and is way too small to support a Community. Thus, I will leave it up to a Community Center to organize the chance for others to know the happiness I have attained. I trust others to come up with questions and the means to answer them. I trust energy will never cease in this endeavor.

If Chris called me today, I would tell him, nay, thank him for being part of opening many doors to those who feared the darkness of their personal closet. Fifty years ago, I knew who I was. Fifty years ago, I never knew, nor imagined, it would be possible to live a  Life free of shame. Then, the horrific years of junior high and high school were in my future. If, at ten-years of age, I could have had support of someone simply telling me to be myself (for the Self is the best treasure to possess) I could have shed shyness and launched into a career of Life.

I have been told, by those few Friends who have known me for many decades, that I did go through my Life with determination to be Me. I concur. I knew what was thought and said about my person — my mind. Yes, this did confuse me for I knew who I was and could, and would, never change. I did keep silent. This silence is what I truly regret.

Another aspect of my Life I regret is that I “blubber around in my head” too, too much. I cannot speak easily. I am a listener. I do not, well, am unable to, share my thoughts and ideas and observations at will — meaning: intelligently. I have too many ideas and images swirling in my brain which contains a personal Utopia for us all. I lay my Trust down for others to say and do what is in my heart. My desires have never altered. My Aloha (a word and concept I have known since first grade) has never wavered. I knew patience would creep through Time and bring success.

My Life, Today, has been, and is, a huge success.

Aloha!