Mamarazzi's Quest To Be Seen — And Not Heard

In today’s age of digital photography, taking a picture and being captured in one couldn’t be easier — in theory at least.  

No need to worry about running out of film, waiting days for photos to be developed or splurging on double prints when you are unsure how they turned out in the first place.  

Our family's old-fashioned, hard-copy photo albums, generated from canisters upon canisters of film, have given way to an abyss of more than 15,000 digital images. Still, pictures of yours truly are seriously lacking in the plethora of Blanck family photos. Ironically, “blank”, minus the ‘c’ that is, would be an appropriate way to characterize the presence of this mom’s likeness and image.

My snapshot has probably been captured more often in recent history by those pesky traffic enforcement cameras than anything else (disclaimer: I am a super cautious driver but some yellow lights just don’t last long enough for safely slowing down without risk of whiplash or being rear-ended by a semi). In any case, do you think the DMV would mind creating a Shutterfly album for me?  

The last major group of photos reflecting my presence seem to have been taken in the year 1 BC — before child, that is — during a terrific vacation. It looks like I had a really good time, too, horseback riding, zip-lining and partaking in other adventure just for the heck of it.

In fact, I was still part of the big picture through my son’s birth and baptism but after that, it all gets a little fuzzy.  

Like many families, now, the majority of pictures taken are of our offspring. Pictures of junior exist in all seasons doing everything, even the mundane tasks of eating, sleeping and sitting on the potty. Of course, a broad range of emotions is captured, from big smiles to yes, even meltdowns (it’s okay, we have no choice but to find humor in them, lest we also end up in a sobbing heap under the coffee table).

Seeing this in black and white convinces me now, more than ever, that I just may qualify as being part of a greater group of dreadful “mamarazzi,” mothers who are a little trigger happy when it comes to snapping photos of their pride and joy. No matter how you regard them, it still seems that mommy dearest is typically the one behind the camera lense.

Aside from junior being the main focus, my husband just isn’t much of a picture taker. Ask him to take one shot and he is happy to comply, but it just isn’t top of mind. So, if my son is in a photo with a parent, chances are it is dad up front-and-center, with mom behind the scenes.  

For the most part, this is fine and dandy. Especially after a recent misstep when hubby happily aired to his co-workers an unflattering egg hunt video featuring one hot and bothered mama (it was a very warm day and I was in the throws of hosting the holiday dinner and orchestrating the hunt in our backyard; suffice it to say I was neither dressed to impress nor sporting my Easter best).  

The way I see it, the only hope I have for the future is turning my son into the family photographer. I am more than ready to pass the torch.  If anyone has a recommendation for a camera for which you don’t have to hold your pencil correctly yet to operate, let me know. In the meantime, I will continue to miraculously be in two places at once, that is, functioning as both picture-taker and subject, taking classic “extended arm photos” while trying to capture an only slightly unflattering below-the-chin angle.  

Say cheese!