Did you ever sleep over a friends house and go somewhere your parents didn't know about?

For me, it was the only way I could go to a "football" party and not have to leave just when it was getting good.

I always had the earliest curfew of everyone, no joke.  So having a "sleepover" was the only way I could stay late enough to catch any of the stuff that would be talked about Monday in school.  I think about those parties sometimes and can't believe parents would actually let so many kids in their house, beer and all!

You may not believe this, but I never drank, never.  Fear of my father finding out was all the deterrent I ever needed. When I weighed getting hassled by my friends against the wrath of "Tom", Tom won, hands down.  

And here's something: I didn't even really enjoy myself......I hated lying to my parents......yeah I got away with it, but  I hated it.  It kind of made me sick to my stomach walking in the house the next day telling them what a good time I had at the sleepover. And it was pretty much the most rebellious thing I ever did.  

I always wondered why they never questioned me about it? Why didn't they at least take my friends phone number?  Their trust in me was admirable yes, but misguided.  

That having been said, I have not taken the high road as they did........I love my kids to death, but trust is another issue. How can I trust them completely when I, a really good kid back then, lied about sleepovers and football parties?  No way....there's way too much they can get into now for me to be that blind.

Case in point:  My husband and I let our kids go out with their friends pretty much whenever they want, but one thing I don't allow is walking around the neighborhood at night.  That’s an instant recipe for trouble.  And to that end, we have been known to do a "drive by", past the house they say they will be at.  

Have we ever caught anyone in a little white lie?  Afraid so, but the funny thing is it wasn't even during a drive by, it was on a 7-11 run! We were turning the corner right in our neighborhood and there was my 14 year old walking with a few friends! Did we pull the car up to her and embarrass her?  You bet we did.  Threw her right in the car and took her home, leaving her friends wide eyed on the corner.  

We’re there repercussions? Sure were. She's not allowed to hang out with those kids anymore. That may seem drastic to some but I kind of have a zero tolerance rule and I'm pretty good at sticking to it.

In her friends’ defense, she told my daughter she understood, and I thought that was really nice, I did, but it has not changed my mind.  

So the lesson here is pretty obvious........love your kids to death, but trust them as much as you should have been trusted, and then stay (at least!) one step ahead of them.