ICYMI: Wantagh Family Honors Fallen Police Officer's Legacy

WANTAGH, NY — Nassau County Police Officer Michael Califano died doing what he loved.

He died in the line of duty having been struck — while patrolling the Long Island Expressway — by a driver who fell asleep at the wheel of a flatbed truck 10 years ago. In the days following his death, his family struggled to move on with their lives without him, but they were not alone.

His son Michael, who was 14 years old at the time, recalled feeling a lot of pain, but he said that there was also "a lot of laughs and joy" as his family was constantly surrounded by his father's colleagues from the Nassau County Police Benevolent Association. Califano, who previously lost his sister, recalled that whether it was to lend a kind word or a sensitive ear, or just play video games with him and his brother, someone was there for the Califano family at their home in Wantagh.

"I really appreciated that," he recalled Friday on the 10th anniversary of his father's death, adding that the weekend of Feb. 5, 2011 was hectic. "That weekend seemed like it was a month long with the amount of people coming to the house, but it was just two days."

After the funeral services were held, there were other ceremonies and events that the family attended marking Officer Califano's death, and the family became involved with the PBA's Windows and Orphans Fund.

"It's a way of them saying, 'We are here for you, and you have more support than you think,'" Califano said.

Jackie Califano recalls being able to get help for anything that came up. All she had to do was just pick up the phone and make a call.

"We extended our own family," she said.

One of the fund's many functions included organizing outings to venues like sporting events and the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall. The outings were arranged so that families experiencing the unique grief of losing a family member in the line of duty could socialize with each other and find some common ground in a normal setting to "try and have some good times," Michael Califano said.

It helped the family take their minds off of their "situation, even if it was it [was] only for a few hours," he said.

He did not immediately warm up to the memorial events or outings, as he recalls shutting down early on in the grieving process.

"The first year was very overwhelming for me," he said.

It was not until he moved past his grief later that he came to appreciate the outings, which were like a "breath of fresh air" and he realized how they helped him and his family.

"You come to appreciate what they are doing for you," he said.

Califano continued to be active with the group over the years and now he and his cousin, Lauren Tamburrino, have put together a fundraiser to sell sweatshirts in the name of Officer Califano to raise money for the PBA's Widows and Orphans Fund.

The hooded sweatshirts are dark blue and feature Officer Califano's badge number — 2852 — in white with an EKG heart rhythm pulse line running through it on the front and memorial words on the back marking the 10th anniversary of his death.

The sweatshirts are $40 apiece and the proceeds will be split between production costs and the fund.

"We have also had a number of people who have said, 'We don't want the sweatshirt, but here is $40,' so that [money] will go into the fund as well," he said.

Tamburrino came up with the idea as a way of marking the 10-year anniversary, and Califano, a graphic designer, brainstormed with her on designs, he said.

The sweatshirt is a way to both remembering his father's legacy and helping out others in need. Over the years, the Califano family has gathered for the patriarch's birthday, and they have tried to take trips that he would have enjoyed like going to Disney World and the Jersey Shore, but they never dwell on his memory out of respect for his philosophy in life.

"He would say, 'Don't worry about me; stop focusing on me,'" Califano said.

On Friday, members of the department gathered with the Califano family at a memorial dedicated to Officer Califano and another colleague, Police Officer Michael Olivieri, and they attended a graveside ceremony with the department's chaplain at Holy Rood Cemetery in Westbury.

It began as a dreary and rainy day that cleared up with some sunshine. Califano said that it seems every time there is a memorial or some event where his father is remembered the same thing happens, and he takes it as a sign that his father is still watching over him and his family.

"It's like he is still speaking to us," he said.

Jackie Califano said the memorial service was overwhelming and brought back emotions from right after her husband's death. To see the number of people turn out to his memorial service, including his former colleagues from Highway Patrol, friends, and even those who retired, left her at a loss for words.

"It was amazing," she said.

She described Califano as the kind of person who would do anything for anyone and from the time she met him when she was 16 years he wanted to be a police officer.

"He died doing what he loved," she said.