Is It Really Such A Big Deal?

My girlfriend and I went to the Dave Matthew's Band concert at the Nikon Jones Beach Theater on Tuesday the 25th and Wednesday the 26th. We had an amazing time. I've been to over 50 Dave shows in the past few years and I still can't get enough of this guy. Although now I've finally been a fan long enough to mean it when I utter the classis phrase, "I like his old stuff much better than his new stuff." 

But people change over the years and so do bands. It's to be expected. Musicians wouldn't be artists if they just handed you the same few riffs over and over again. Music is the deepest expression of their emotions, and as the emotions of the artists change, so does the music. It's to be expected.

And it's not like I hate his new stuff. But I tolerate it; I don't love it. 

That’s okay. A Dave concert can be a jungle of wildly expressive and frequently intoxicated rhythmic dancing. If you’re a fan, you don’t just tolerate this behavior, you accept it. You welcome it. But not everyone is accustomed to Dave or the environment of his shows. While at the concert, I overheard a conflict between a few people in the section next to me.

I’ve seen Dave Matthews Band play across America and Europe. I’m accustomed to the atmosphere. No matter where you go, people smoke pot at Dave Matthew’s Band concerts. I tolerate it. The two girls sitting in front of me were smoking joints the whole night and it didn’t bother me. In my opinion, it’s to be expected at these types of shows. But I can’t say the same about the section next to us.

A group of people were rather upset that the group in front of them continued to smoke throughout the show. I overheard complaints of “I don’t want this smoke in my face all night,” and “I don’t want this stuff around my family.” I was surprised. Typically, it’s security and not other fans that will make a fuss about the pot use. But it’s not as if these people were wrong. Marijuana is still illegal in New York and they have every right to enjoy the concert without being subjected to what they clearly deemed unpleasant criminality.

But still. I can’t help but wonder. Is it really such a big deal? It was an outdoor concert and in my position, it was windy enough so that I didn’t feel suffocated by smoke. And honestly, it seems as if the country as a whole is making a movement of tolerance towards  marijuana. There is no reason to resist progressive change. To achieve global Peace, we must move forward together. We must forgive one another for our trespasses. Maybe a concert isn't the right place. I agree it's rude to blow smoke in someone's face if it bothers them. But at this point, we still won't let people do this in their own homes. 

Our logic on this topic is rather inconsistent. If the argument is that we need to ban substances that can negatively influence our health, then fine, let’s do it. But that means not only getting rid of marijuana, but also beer, fast foods, GMOs, junk foods, cigarettes, sodas that are too large, etc. If we’re going to say that these laws are there for our health then let’s actually follow through with it. But how does a person complain about the teens smoking marijuana in front of him and not the woman on the left of him smoking a cigarette or the guy to the right of him chugging beers all night?

I can respect any person’s opinion if their logic is consistent. However if one’s logic is inconsistent, then one is effectively lying to you. We can’t achieve agreement when lying to each other about our motivations.

Tolerance and acceptance are not just about other people accepting your lifestyle, but about you accepting the lifestyles of others as well. We need more give and take. We need balance in this world. We need terms that we can all agree to, whatever those terms may be. And that requires deciding what values are the most valuable to us as a society and agreeing to do what is necessary to move towards achieving them as standards. How is global peace still not a common priority?  

The world is starting to change. I can feel it. Just this week our society struck down DOMA so that homosexuals can have the same rights as heterosexuals. Tolerance is building. We are beginning to accept one another. But we need to keep moving. We can achieve peace if we make it a priority. We have not yet found terms upon which we can all agree but we are searching. And we will inevitably find a way to achieve peace, or we will destroy ourselves. I don’t favor the latter.

This week, let’s meditate on tolerance and acceptance. Look at those around you Ask yourself what bothers you the most and figure out why. When you do, look not to condemn, but to agree. Look for peace, not conflict. Ask yourself, “Is this really hurting me?” “Is it worth disrupting the peace to argue about this?” “If I were in that person’s position, what would I do if someone told me that I couldn’t live my life that way?” Do your best. You don’t have to change who you are. But some part of you wants to live in a peaceful world.

Act on it.