Marriage and Mingling in Michigan

Over the weekend, I was in Michigan celebrating my cousin Loren’s wedding. It was the first wedding I have ever been to and all I can say is that I hope everyone I know gets married. I mean Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun at a party. If you read my earlier blog about family, you’ll know that I’ve just recently realized the importance of building connections with relatives. This weekend was an amazing opportunity for me.

My Dad and I flew into Michigan from New Jersey. My Aunt Susan and my Grandparents flew in from Florida. We all joined forces in the Detroit airport and hopped into a rented mini-van on our way to Harbor Springs (where the wedding was). Not everyone would be excited about a 5-hour drive. I was. Since my Aunt and Grandparents live in Florida, it’s not so easy to stop by their houses. My Grandparents used to Live on Long Island so I would see them sometimes but I really never got to know my Aunt. She’s lived in Florida for as long as I can remember. I felt so lucky to have this opportunity to get closer to her.

Hanging out with family is kind of like looking at fun house mirrors. When you look, you can clearly see parts of yourself that you recognize. But it’s not quite you. You see altered reflections of yourself. Some of them disgust you. Some of them make you laugh. Some of them you find more attractive. When I was hanging out with my Aunt Susan, I was stunned when I realized how much we have in common. How could I recognize so much of myself in another person who I’ve barely even talked to for the past 20 years? I’ve never realized how powerful the bond of family can be. It’s as if there’s something in our blood that unites us beyond words and beyond physical distance.

My last name is Lepkowsky. But on this vacation, I realized that Lepkowsky isn’t just a last name, it’s a brand. Don’t get me wrong; we all have different personalities, quirks, and nuances. But the similarities we share are undeniable. One of the most notable is our sense of humor and lack of social filter. We tend to speak our minds without thinking about the consequences. Sometimes it’s hysterical. Sometimes it’s tragic. But it’s who we are. It’s in our blood. I even noticed that we make a lot of the same noises. It’s funny that this is the first time I’m noticing. But we sigh the same way, laugh the same way, and even make similar grunts when we’re stressed. I find it to be beautiful.

This was certainly an enlightening weekend.  As I express gratitude for connection to my family, I realize that our family has just connected to another. A wedding is a beautiful union between two individuals who have fallen in Love but it’s more than that. The Bride and the Groom aren’t the only two getting married. Their families unite as well, whether they want to or not.  I choose to see it as a gift and as a golden opportunity. I hope that one day, all humans will consider one another to be family. But for now, watching parents on both sides look forward to sharing a grandchild is a beautiful way to begin. Making friends with people that I never knew existed and accepting them into my family makes my heart glow. In my opinion, even the friends of the bride and groom are part of one big family now too. And I couldn’t be happier about it. I met amazing people and created beautiful memories with them that I will always remember. 

This week, in honor of my cousin’s marriage, let’s meditate on union. Let’s focus on joining together as a family. Start where it’s comfortable. If you aren’t connected to your own family, start with them. If you are, reach out to distant relatives. Reach out to your friends and acquaintances. Get to know someone you work with but have never had lunch with. People aren’t so scary when we look at them as potential future additions to our family. And when we look at strangers as potential family, we can forgive them for their flaws. When we realize flaws in our friendships, sometimes we end those friendships. But we can never truly sever the bonds of family. In most cases, we forgive our brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, grandparents, cousins, etc. We overlook their flaws to see the good and Love them anyway. Reach out to all those people who are around you. Spread the feeling of Love and family. Be kind, be generous, be gentle. Love them anyway.

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