A Commitment to Family

Mid March in 2004 there was a family wedding in Florida for many of us who live in New York. With everyone excited to take the trip, a bunch of us decided to make a vacation out of it. Some came early to go to Disneyworld, then some more family came a few days later and met everyone at Universal Studios. Then even more family made time to come down for the wedding weekend.

For a wedding that was that far away it seemed that the majority of friends and family from the northeast did find the money, time and inclination to join the couple on their joyous day.  The wedding was being held at a beautiful waterfront hotel in Tampa. The ceremony was right at the base of a huge staircase and right on the edge of the water. Everything was set. The photographer, the flowers, the catering and drinks, rings, dj, wedding favors, ....everything. There was even a separate room for the many kids in attendance to eat their chicken nuggets and color in their coloring books. 

At the time my girls were 7 1/2 and my youngest just turned 4. It was an exciting week. Not only their first time at the amusement parks but a chance to spend time with a lot of family we normally don't see too often. So the wedding day has come and my girls are flower girls in the wedding.

I had made flower headpieces for them to wear and they had their little white frilly dresses on finally as the time came to go downstairs to take pictures. We are headed down to the lobby in the elevator. My girls look so cute and ready to go.

An older couple walks in the elevator and says to me girls.."Are you girls in a wedding?...the bride must look so beautiful?"....my older daughter says to her.." There is no bride"...with that the next floor button was pushed and they were out so fast your head would spin.  The wedding included young and old, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends...old and new, cousins, siblings and collegues. During the waterfront ceremony we are all sitting waiting for the bridal party to come down the stairs (especially my girls) and we notice a crowd has formed at the hotel pool as well as boats on the water. Don't we all do that when we stumble upon a wedding to see the bride's dress? Well again I say to my husband .."If they are waiting for a bride they will be waiting for a long time!" So this beautiful ceremony of exchanging rings and vows remember in the state of Florida is not legal....but the sentiment and promises are the same regardless. 

In November of 2007 while still living in Florida,my brother and his husband (obviously the couple I have been talking about) adopted a beautiful baby girl from California after establishing residency in California since again Florida does not allow gay adoption. Soon after they made the decision to move their family to a state that was more accepting of them and ended up in Rhode Island.

Although much more comfortable with them, marriage still not legal. They ended up getting legally married in Massachusetts which is recognized in Rhode Island. For other family reasons now my brother and his family have recently moved back to Long Island.

What a wonderful welcome home gift from the state to them in giving them the legalization of their marriage and their family. Now my brother, his husband and my niece will continue their life together as they have since that day in Tampa Florida but no one can tell them they are different from anyone else and my niece can now say Dada and Daddy are married!!